Have a Little Faith

How hard it is to have that little faith, which you’ve always had? That silver lining which you are looking for in the sky is a mere symbol you await, even as everything silver and gold is within you. You told me “It’s hard to carry on Hope. It pains. I don’t wish to let it go”. As you wept mercilessly, the waters drained into streams coloured with the red of prickly anguish. The night was a storm. The windows of the heart creaked loudly for the hinges seemed too weak to hold them. Yet they did their best to hang on.

You opened the book you needed the most. It coaxed you to find what you had and stick like glue to it. You said your money bank was running low and he said      “ Have a Little Faith”. You soaked in his words. I saw you drenched the other day, salt all over your body. Tears had formed their impressions all over your skin. These little drops carry weight of lifetimes. As you let them go, it’s like freeing them from the prison of both eyes and memories. Who said memories are untouchable? If that was so, why do they come with thorns?

It’s been a while since rituals of my religion made their importance felt. We believe in God, yet praying takes a backseat. In the times of today, prayer has become nothing but an obligation. 

To God? Really? 

It has taken a definition of a bribe or maybe sympathy? When in Pain, dial God’s number. If he listens, great; if he doesn’t we tried our best. 

As I walked towards my adulthood, I carried God with me in my heart. I would tell myself these visits to the temple are not needed as I always carried him in my heart. Yet I have found myself visiting the temple in moments when I felt that was the right thing to do. There are voices we all hear, in silence you find them residing. Many have called it “the inner voice”. I haven’t heard it, but have felt it. It has spoken to me in the most profound ways. In meditation, when I would take time from my busy schedules to listen to myself breathe. Faith knows no religion. It never has. It is a belief, in the goodness of humanity. If you lost yours on the way, Mitch Albom offers you a lake full of Faith to carry some buckets from.

If you are looking for a companion in silence, where you can earnestly answer the most painful questions of life and death, grab this little gift by Mitch Albom. Trust you’ll be in good company. You’ll feel loved, cared for and most importantly feel blessed and offer nothing at the end but gratitude.

                                            

Stay Blessed

Love

Aakriti

Dungeons that saw light

“Do you know how this world is filled with mazes and how we end up entering another only to be relieved by finding way out of the last one?” “On second thoughts, do we ever find a way out, not until we are alive, right?” so began the saga of asking questions flickered by that moments  in which Light would fall on Pain, leading the wound to seethe than to soothe; that which took its own insights to welcome the cure at its best time. Pain was not the only one, down there, it had company. The companies of the others however were fleeting in nature, like a whiff of air, seen for a few seconds and drifting away, only to be invisible, but at the same time, being present. The other day I heard some voices, screaming for Help, filled with Agony, Misery and above all Helplessness and Worthlessness. Amidst those voices resided lakes of Anger, Guilt and Confusion. And far away at the horizon, which had yet to be discovered, lay Peace. As the voices got louder and louder and louder, heaving a want for Death and for Anguish to end, Silence befell and asserted its existence. The lakes dried for few minutes, cleared and made way for Insight, to gather itself and emerge in Hope and Faith. They always go together. Here they were sitting patiently besides Insight. Their silence eased the Pain into tiny molecules which the body felt escaping away from it. As that happened, the wounds came closer and lit up with new molecules which took the place. These were a gift from Belief, handed over by Hope and Faith. Just as the Silence weaved its magic, the Insight gave Pain a hug filled with Perseverance and Care. The echo of the loud voices faded away gradually, now beckoning the other dungeons which were unexplored, which had yet to be entered, only to make Pain feel its presence, not now, but later. For now, it knew that “it had been saved”. However, that was not the end of it. Just before this realisation set in, Wisdom, quietly perched on a rock, a witness to all the events finally parted its lips to say what was ought to be said: “My Dear, you are saved only if you want to be saved”. With this it spread its huge wings and disappeared into an opening, which no one knew about. There sat Pain whose hands were held by Hope and Faith, heart by Belief and mind by Perseverance. In that moment they seemed like a united family, ready to strive and ready to thrive. As goes for the Light, it was there amidst the Darkness.

The walls that saw me grow

I'm a great admirer of life and its ways. If there is one thing that has continued to surprise me, it has to be life. It's malleable, ductile, strong yet fragile. In fact, it's only times and situations which bestow upon us its strengths and weaknesses.

Staying in a hostel for two years of my life was a blessing in disguise. It was extremely hard to continue, sometimes, as there were days when I felt that ending my life in those four walls would lead to people's life continuing the same way; perhaps nobody would know that I was no more, unless they would find me dead, only at the pretext of having some work to do with me.

There are times when nobody, no body can help and the walls of your little room stand there, strengthened by all the tears you drained, the shouts you never screamed and the worst fears you ever imagined. The walls become your container and start reflecting the very things you would have run away from, in the presence of your beloved family.  The nights begin to re define themselves as a day survived and the days call forth for a new beginning and a new struggle.

Have you ever been in a situation where for months together you carried on, not for your pitiful self, but for the dear ones who continued to have faith in you, even as you had given up on yourself?

The struggle of collapsing into pieces and collecting those pieces repeatedly isn't easy. Perhaps it's nothing less than a test of your capacities. A diamond doesn't shine till it has withered itself in all the darkness, a tunnel only defines itself to the end which people seek towards the light, a night, my dear friends, becomes graceful because of the stars.

Having stayed in a place where people were too busy to spare time for themselves, the walls taught me to be on my own. They told me not to fear eating alone; more so, they taught me to love my own company and dine with it, whenever I had the luxury of time, so I did. I remember an occasion very vividly, I was looking pretty with my tee tucked inside the pallazos I wore and was off for lunch until a friend met on the way and asked if I was going to a date? Well, yes I was, with my self!

There were days when I felt the need of a company but brushed that feeling aside and went ahead by myself. Today when I look back, those moments have taught me to rely on nobody, not because they are not reliable but because they lack time, but myself. It's true when people say that those who stood beside you in times of adversity are your real friends.

Relationships have never been just about the softness, for its the sharp edges, the coarseness, the brittle parts that are chiselled to form something beautiful. The tears question the doubts just as a little child questions the adult life.  The body aches with illness as there's no time to get sick. The distance sighs at its length, as it's too far to come closer. The friendship takes a new meaning as the circle begins to shrink. The home becomes an abode of everything blissful we denied when we had it. The self becomes a soul, so rich with emotions and experiences, it's like a life within a life.

As I left my hostel room, a friend urged me to have a last look of the room and the hostel. I replied I didn't want to as I had stayed there long enough to not know about it. Truth was: the walls had made an impression on me which was etched in my memory. That room of mine cemented my life in a way that leads me to write about my experience today. It saw me dance, sing, cook, draw, write poetry, all in my self’s company. That room was life experiencing itself, at the end of a tiring day!

One of my drawings among the many. Drawing, a love I found in those times:) 

What contentment feels like…..

It feels like the soft blanket warming your body as you sleep yourself with wide smiles, only to wake up tomorrow with more doses of hope.

It feels like the sun shining brighter just to see you succeed in the hardest battle of your life.

It feels like the silence wishes to reach you and if responded wants to be with you.

It feels like all the colours in the world exist just for you.

It feels like the street dog came near you just so he could offer you more love.

It feels like life was always the way it was, just that we never paused.

It feels like some songs were just waiting for your attention so you could hear them on repeat.

It feels life giving you a chance to slow down and savour every single drizzle of it.

Life of a lotus:) Photo Credits: Kunal Malviya, fellow blogger friend

Happy Weekend:) Aakriti

Hard ships:Haiku

Hard shall it be as

Always; soft too on days so bright

Meant to coexist

On days so hard when

                                 Falls would be of tears; you dear                

Created hope smiles

For the solemn times to come

Dear Sad heart out there,

I write to you, for the solemn days that are yet to come by, in the near future or far beyond. I read today about mood- dependent memory. While Rhonda Byrne talks of “laws of attraction”, our brains have a way of recalling sad moments when we are sad and pleasant ones when we are joyous. It’s called “the mood congruent effect”.

Remember the gorgeous smile you had as you walked from library to your room? The gorgeous rainy breeze, as it soothed your skin, enwrapping your soul and lifting your spirits. You heard a voice inside, it whispered “And when things go bad, good days won’t be behind!” I remember your gaze at the lush green trees, like a child you were all in awe of nature. The steps of yours felt like a melody played on the piano. You know why? Because you were simply mindful of your walk on your way back. You soaked in, your soul, every little particle of the wet earth and cool breeze.

When everything seems broken, when hours wash away like minutes and your shoulders droop with work, remember, that you’ve’ crossed hundreds of obstacles in the past. “This too shall pass”.

When you wish to cry out loud for no reason at all, be yourself, but at the same time, understand that tears, like always have been precious! Question, if the reason for your tears, is worth the transparent pearls?

When you wish to give up, rise, for few more steps and you shall be done! Rise! Not because it’s hard from there on, but because you’ve come that far and if you give up now, it shall make no sense!

When thoughts become blurred and you come across fork in the road, pause! Stop! And close your eyes, feel and hear what your heart says! Listen to it, coz nothing in life shall matter more!

When there are days you wish you weren’t ill and cursed your aches and pains, remember, that you are human and not a machine! The very reason that makes you feel shall also help your pains heal! When your body cries, listen to it. Rest! No matter how dire the work is! The adage “Health is wealth” doesn’t goes without its meaning!

For now, relax. Life was never meant to run; we re-invented the meaning to suit our own needs!

Listen to what you speak

Touch that fears

In which your mind believes.

Talk to strangers

For they are not as strange as they seem

Live in the present

Smell the true flavours

For life if lived fully

Even once shall do you good!

I’m away, yet I’m doing fine…….

Dear Love,

I know I cried like a mad girl in those two months, it’s really surprising but it feels as if that was long time ago. As they say “time is a great healer”. Indeed. Perspectives change and with time we bloom too. You remember, I would often tell you what I would tell myself in troubled times “That which doesn’t kills us makes us stronger” and so goes the truth.  We have all come a long way. So have I. To know that many a laurels were achieved not for the sake of extrinsic motivation but for the self is indeed satisfying. While it now feels like that a magic happened in those times, truth is it was all hard work that went behind. True work always pays. It has and will. It somehow feels like a letter to my self even as I write to you. Well, every word I say to you gets softly reflected back. You know you are a bestie and my therapist!

Life is a blessing, why crib, cry and waste precious tears over mundane moments which shall eventually pass by and then after a few weeks it shall feel all silly. Ah! Like my Master’s dissertation days! Gosh! Tell me something, are some courses meant to give us jolts like that?

I’ve always been a believer of true insights. These insights come along way too…It’s like a butterfly which eventually comes to life when it’s fully developed. Today, it feels as if I have been both inside and outside the cocoon at the same time, waiting to be set free by the invisible walls at the same time see myself fly with those gorgeous fragile wings.

This life here was meant to be. Yes I chose it under pressure but yeah destiny is also something I believe in.

Que sara sara

What will be will be….

The future’s not ours to see….

Que sera sera….

What will be will be…..

And no matter where we are….

Twogether we shall be…shall be….

I'm a brook, on my way to the sea....
Yeah I know I gotta be patient
For the lock to open, it's often the last key.....
The softness, the music and the melodies....
If rocks shall come my way
So will many a beauties......:) 

Love.

What it takes to keep writing even as no one ever comes by

A choke in my throat

Perhaps a little tear stuck by

For the words would often be read

Sometimes by friends, more so by passers by

Time went by hopping to blogs

Words here and there, but never a lie

Some friendships were formed

Few for a while

Others faded, like a cloud passing by

And there were phases

Of posts after posts

And then a silence, a blankness for a while

And there was this one avid reader

The one I love

My posts would be viewed

Sweetly, from those miles

And I would often share this feeling

A vacuum of sorts

And he would simply say

“You write from heart, as others for the piles”

Yet this heart would wonder

Feel that ache and pinch

Words, my first love knew

Would offer sweet smiles and winks

And as this yarn keeps spinning

The yard stays vacant all day

And a few beautiful souls drop by

And appreciate the existence of this place

The dreams then flutter its wings

For well, some true ones say ‘worry why?’

Some hearts still get touched and feel

And relate to the words written by………….

Aakriti