Friday, July 31, 2015

Let’s talk “death”

The other day I saw Syra reading Have a Little Faith by Mitch Albom, she told me she loved the book, so much so that she offered a little faith to a friend as a gift. Few weeks passed and she was found reading Tuesdays with Morrie by Mitch again. In an intimate conversation with her, she shared some profound aspects of her reading of the two books: “You know it’s all very well to read, to practice is where the struggle lies, to change the life that has been accustomed to being what it is, is where the true victory is and that my friend can take a whole life and many eternities” she sighed. I bit my lip as I tried to offer a smile, letting her know I could understand what she felt. We stayed like that for a few minutes, exchanging hugs in a space where they reached the inside, without touching the outside. “Have you ever thought about death?” she asked “Have begun to” I answered. “Hmm” “Can I share my thoughts on it?” “Sure, go ahead, I’m all yours”. “Thank you dear” and it went on like this….
“I’m terrified if death knocks at my door. Today, tomorrow or even months from now if it says let me in, I’ll try my level best to shoo it away. But you know how death is, it never asks permission, it just comes by and shakes everything around you, unless you are strong enough like Morrie and Mitch’s Rabi to accept it gracefully. I wonder how many people accept death with open arms. I as of now end up crying every time I think of it. I have lost my grandfather and grandmother. Even as they were losses for me, their deaths happened at the time where most of the people know it’s lurking around. But I dread the day I lose any of my loved ones. I really do. I love them way too much to let them go just like that. No Death, not so soon is what I would like to scream and shout. But that won’t make any difference, right? Once they’ll be gone, they’ll be no coming back. You know what’s sadder? Me trying to strive to be a kinder person every day and failing at it, as the day bids me bye. It’s not easy being kind and gentle when you are immune to being harsh. These words which these books use so beautifully, courage, wisdom, love, kindness are way heavy words than they seem. In each word are millions of stories which people can write, yet their worth is an individual knowledge waiting to be gained…..”

She looked away with tears streaming down her eyes as I lay my hand weakly on her hand. Struggling to catch her breath she wiped her tears and continued….

“I’m not ready for death right now. I don’t know if I have loved people enough to show them how much I have loved them. I have felt it strong and hard inside my heart but failed to offer it in kindness. I have to live to make amendments, to let people know that I’m not the person they think I’m. I want to live because I want to get married to the person I love and have a baby with him so that I can share my stories of courage and retrospection and tell the gorgeous kid that seeing and accepting oneself is one of the most important things in life. I, for now, have a long way to go before I accept who I’m; I don’t even know who I’m. Yet I know there is a beauty which resides in me, which has shown itself in many ways and I’m not willing to let it go. That’s also one of the reasons I would not want death to come near me. I’ve often thought “what if today is my last day, have I lived it well?” to my surprise the answer would rarely be a ‘yes’ and that would make me feel miserable. I hope you understand that I’m not an evil person. I’ve never intended to hurt anybody even as I end up doing that. This brings a thought “why do people not communicate better?” “Why do people shut themselves instead of talking or discussing things through?” I’ve always felt that the world could be such a better place only if people discussed their true emotions to each other” she sighed. “But who am I to complain, I’m part of that crowd too, at times. I think people begin to value you more once they get to know that you are about to die, isn’t it? She looked at me. I shrugged and she understood. “Oh, how would you know? I’m thinking if dying can be thought of as an experience than as something to pity about. I would not like people to pity me if they get to know that I’m dying. Wow! I think I just understood something….. The fact that so much love comes a person’s way when s/he is dying is because death as a topic scares everybody. It’s like a Dementor sapping your happiest moments. The sole reason people change towards you at their knowledge of your death is, that they don’t want their guilt to drive them crazy. Or may be other reasons, I’m unaware of. But this one definitely sounds selfish!” She stopped and drank half a glass of water, looking at me as she took a tissue to blow her nose. “Are you okay?” she exclaimed as tears streamed down my face. I nodded. “Go on….”

“Well I don’t think I have any more to say. All I know is that I’m on a path where I have begun coming closer to my life, in reality and going away any moment will seem a complete loss.” At this we both cried and hugged each other till our tears dried up and became invisible pearls holding each other’s wounds in place. 


Always wondered how some people
All of a sudden go all mute
With thoughts on their mind
And words on their lips
They go…..mute
That heart remains the same, doesn’t it?
Or somebody injects poison of the strange?
If your physiology remains sound
So does your mind and heart, doesn't it?
But, they suddenly go…mute?
Leaving you wondering
What catastrophes took place?
And if they didn’t at all,
How , one fine day
They go…..mute?
The promises of friendship
The days spent ‘once upon a time’
Start freezing to death
You know why? Coz

They just, choose to go ….

Wednesday, July 8, 2015

Have a Little Faith

How hard it is to have that little faith, which you’ve always had? That silver lining which you are looking for in the sky is a mere symbol you await, even as everything silver and gold is within you. You told me “It’s hard to carry on Hope. It pains. I don’t wish to let it go”. As you wept mercilessly, the waters drained into streams coloured with the red of prickly anguish. The night was a storm. The windows of the heart creaked loudly for the hinges seemed too weak to hold them. Yet they did their best to hang on.
You opened the book you needed the most. It coaxed you to find what you had and stick like glue to it. You said your money bank was running low and he said      “ Have a Little Faith”. You soaked in his words. I saw you drenched the other day, salt all over your body. Tears had formed their impressions all over your skin. These little drops carry weight of lifetimes. As you let them go, it’s like freeing them from the prison of both eyes and memories. Who said memories are untouchable? If that was so, why do they come with thorns?

It’s been a while since rituals of my religion made their importance felt. We believe in God, yet praying takes a backseat. In the times of today, prayer has become nothing but an obligation. 
To God? Really? 
It has taken a definition of a bribe or maybe sympathy? When in Pain, dial God’s number. If he listens, great; if he doesn’t we tried our best. 

As I walked towards my adulthood, I carried God with me in my heart. I would tell myself these visits to the temple are not needed as I always carried him in my heart. Yet I have found myself visiting the temple in moments when I felt that was the right thing to do. There are voices we all hear, in silence you find them residing. Many have called it “the inner voice”. I haven’t heard it, but have felt it. It has spoken to me in the most profound ways. In meditation, when I would take time from my busy schedules to listen to myself breathe. Faith knows no religion. It never has. It is a belief, in the goodness of humanity. If you lost yours on the way, Mitch Albom offers you a lake full of Faith to carry some buckets from.
If you are looking for a companion in silence, where you can earnestly answer the most painful questions of life and death, grab this little gift by Mitch Albom. Trust you’ll be in good company. You’ll feel loved, cared for and most importantly feel blessed and offer nothing at the end but gratitude.

Stay Blessed



Saturday, July 4, 2015

Away We Go: A Movie Review

Once in a while there comes a movie which touches you for its sheer beauty in simplicity. It’s not a conventional and clich├ęd romantic drama. Its life! A life which shows the many facets of what a personality can be. It depicts how faith and love can attract each other to make the kind of couples that exist in this world. It shows how the happiest people can be troubled and yet try their best to live a fulfilling life. It shows that marriage is not the only reason people can live together. Love and trust are the binding force for every relationship. The movie beautifully portrays how we individuals are tormented by a speedbreaker at different moments in our lives. For instance when Maya ( played by the talented Veronna De Tessant) says “We are such fuck ups, in our thirties and still don’t have anything to sustain” and just then Burt ( played by John Krasinski) brings a big smile on your face as he reassures her, oh so lovingly, that they are not “fuck ups”.
Maya (Verona) who plays Burt’s (John) girlfriend is six months pregnant and the story shows their tryst through life’s many struggles and obstacles, questions that take away our hope, realities that makes us questions our future (for instance when Burt asks Maya “What if something happens to me and I won’t be there to take care of this kid?”) and how we alone have the abilities to trust our potentials to face every odd that life throws at us.
The movie depicts conversations every husband and wife is liable to have. It depicts their struggles, anxieties, dreams and hope as prospective parents. The beauty of Maya’s character is how wonderfully she plays a typical neurotic girl, which most of us women are. To compliment it perfectly we have Burt who admits to “love her even if she goes so fat that he cannot find her vagina” (as she looks at her big baby bump and feels ugly).
What I also loved about this movie is that unlike other romantic comedies where couples are shown kissing, smooching, being desperate to get in bed; this movie goes beyond the physical realm. It portrays how loved Maya can feel as she lays near Burt so close yet not kiss him, as that moment the space between their lips is so mystically sacred so as to be disturbed by a kiss. There are no “I love you’s”, “Honey”, “ Darling”. But what there is to this movie is much more. In times where humans and human relationships are seeing a major low and people consider the other nothing less than a piece of dirt, this movie offers hope, faith and a sheer beauty in the power of love, trust and faith.
I wonder if anybody else could have fit in their shoes. You know what else makes the movie so realistic? The no- makeup look of Maya. She is so simple and beautiful. Just like any other lady you’ll come across. The cinematography at some moments is befitting. There is this one scene where Maya is reminiscing about her childhood days to Burt, as she is sitting on the bench. The camera is all focused onto her and shows that Burt stands near listening to her. That moment you actually feel that a husband is listening intently to his wife. Now, that is what I call magic!
Why are you still sitting here? Go watch the movie! Cherry on the cake, a sound that plays with the titles in the end “Orange Sky” . Aren’t these lyrics just so soulful: In your love my salvation lies…….They melt and ooze out love, love and pure love!
 This movie is a must watch! I give it 5/5!

The journey back home

Picture Credits: My Blogger friend Kunal Malviya

The journey back home

Is a treacherous one, My

Wings know not the path to take

And still they flutter like they never before

Linking at aprompteachday at Leo's space:) 
Happy Weekend Vanilla People!:)

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