Fussball (Football) Fever

I really do not know how to start. And this time I’m very very serious, not because I have loads of thoughts on my mind that I do not know where to start, this time it is much the opposite.

I’ve been seeing since few years how keenly my brother watches Foot ball matches, how lovingly and passionately the town, the city and countries come to life whenever FIFA WORLD CUP happens.

And I have always wondered what is there in football that brings people from different countries together. A friend of mine who plays football and is a wild fan of Manchester United ( GGMU!!) responds to this question of mine by saying that the passion, the drive that is there in this game is something you cannot see in any other game. I asked him that this game is so ‘rough’, players go around shoving each other to take the ball?? And to that he replied that it is the ardor, obsession and the fervor, the urge to make your country proud by every move of yours, by every goal you make and players who are playing in the World Cup are there for a purpose. Indeed, yes!

Over the years all I have praised this game is for (except for the awesome goals that were made) it’s cute and hot players. Sorry, but it was something which I shared with you very honestly. I have absolutely no clue about this game. I do not know what all tricks the players use, why and when Red, Yellow cards are given (though I do know they are given when the player misbehaves), and am completely unaware of the rules.

Every time I asked my brother to tell me the rules, he would tell me “later” and that later hasn’t arrived till date.

Moreover (I’m sorry this might be very disappointing to read) but I have no idea about the names of the teams, have heard a few like Arsenal, Chelsea, Manchester United. That’s it. I don’t even know the names of the players except for a few.

My brother and I watched few months back the movie Goal and Goal2 and I loved both of them. Thanks to him I love the ads of Puma, Adidas, Nike, and Reebok which casts lead Football players having fun.

The enthusiasm, the zest with which people cheer for teams is something which I do not connect to, and feel sad about. And now I do not know if I can be made to or rather make myself fall in love with this game, or even after years when I re-read this I’ll still be feeling sad that I know nothing about the game, its players nor about its team, except for knowing where the next Fifa World Cup is gonna happen.

Before I end this I would like to share what made me write this post in the very first place. It was the ‘echo’, the true feel of the song ‘The Waving Flag’ by Kannan that made me think of a huge football ground with spectators cheering for their teams, and everywhere you look around all you see is anger, drive, energy, passion, and craze of the football fans for their country and for their teams.

No wonder then that FOOTBALL the most loved and followed game in most of the countries!!!:)

THE SOCIAL NETWORK

Woah!! It’s gonna be three years since I joined “Facebook”, earlier known as “THE facebook”, THE “THE” removed only because of a guy whom the best friend thought wasn’t wise enough to be invested in.

Hi. Welcome to the “SOCIAL” NETWORK review from my side!! And though all these months what I’ve been doing is reviewing nothing but readings given to me weekly in my college, I was more than anxious for the movie to get over and write my thoughts, oops! POST my thoughts on my very own “blog” ( HA! THANK goodness I’m not an obsessive blogger like Mark Zuckerberg was).

No one but I know at this moment what my mind is going through. I liked the movie, no wonder it’s worth getting all the awards at most prestigious award functions (I’m intentionally trying NOT to name them). But the main reason for the success is the movie will be what? The way the movie was made? Or the way events and incidents happened in Zuckerberg’s life?

It’s been many years since I’ve been reading “The Chicken Soup” and in my teen years and even now I often wonder that the issues ( that of “stereotyping” “ self- esteem” “ being a nobody” “ having no girlfriend or for that matter friends to talk to” in short everything that can be included in the SOCIAL CONTEXT of a school life) which bothered teens in the west were far more different than in the “Indian” context. Now I do not know if I’ll be right when I say that “back- bitching”, “gossiping”, “publicizing”, “flaunting”, “popularizing” have all resulted in India from THE FACEBOOK, or they were already there (you might as well disagree, but I’m purposely not elaborating it at this moment, coz indeed there are many factors for the westernization of the Indian culture, and FB might be just one of them).

Surely some people would agree with me that the teens of today’s generation are light years ahead in the negative things that they are indulging in, unknowingly or perhaps knowingly too) from where we were at their age and are now. The other day I heard my aunt saying about her son, who just recently joined facebook, “What’s the idea of going to the school, and coming back, sitting in front of FB only to chat and talk with friends whom you just left few hours before”? Height was when my cousin in the ninth standard was on his Homepage and told me that his classmates would sneakily get digicams or cells to click pix in the school only to go back home and upload on facebeook.

Sorry for digressing (as I said I had too many thoughts on my mind). The story of the facebook founder- Mark, if I believe it to be at least 75% true as shown in the movie then this is all I would like to share ( and perhaps even if not, then too):
What do you think about the aspect of friendship as shown in the movie? TO BE CRISP I’LL SAY: BEST FRIENDS always think good for you. It’s sad that trivial jealousies as friends move ahead on the ladder of success whether in the high school life or in professional life take over the wonderful moments one shared with that friend. This is precisely what Zuckerberg did. HA! What an irony, the guy who created FB had not even a single friend on his side, as every second online people added each other, made friends and so to say expanded their “social” network.
What happened in the end? His friend was right about his partner who dealt with drugs and was caught red- handed for it.

What about the glorification of excessive “blogging” and open expression of your emotions? As is said that all geniuses have a streak of madness in them, so did Zuckerberg! The anger, the rage, the wildness, the inability to take control of one’s emotions is what drove him to do all that he did in the very first place. While all we friends might be very glad to be “connected” and share videos, pictures, and what not on FB. It is the founder’s story that hit me hard. I felt sorry, pathetic and was angry at him for what he did. (Taking all his anger out on his girlfriend whom he was dating and “openly” abusing her and posting it on his blog, and going ahead to create facemash.com only to humiliate a person to the extent that you forget that at the end of the day you are a human being, not a wild hound who would kill his own kids for hunger).

And all that while you take undue advantage of your best friend’s TRUST in you, only by throwing him out of your company, he being oblivious of all your strategies. A BEST FRIEND STABBING AT YOUR BACK IS THE WORST WOUND ONE CAN EVER GET. Mark was a coward! Not only did he cheat others, but he cheated himself more than anyone in the process of becoming a billionaire. Keeping his genius all aside, I would like to pose a question: What value does money holds in one’s life? And what does holding on to grudges for no reason at all lead to? I’ll tell you- LOSING your “very “own strengths you had in the form of your friends!

The movie is a success, and I’ll be only reiterating this word! But it’s heartrending, sad, depressing to see everything that happened in his life. The creation of facebook has been a revolution in itself. Like that day a kid of 5 year old telling me “Didi, are you on facebook? I answer him by saying yes, his answer only leaves my wide open as he happily says “Add me on facebook”!

So here it goes:
If you wish to meet new people,
If you wish to make random friends,
There are loads ideal out there,
Just “add” them, don’t comprehend,
If you wish to publicize or wish to popularize,
Go click on facebook, make a profile,
The world was no less in abnormalities,
Now only it’s leading to some new,
Where boyfriends get a heart attack,
When their girlfriends find new ones to hook,
The anxiety that is overwhelming,
When your party is poorer than hers,
The tension that your boyfriend is cheating,
As on his profile you constantly gawk,
The narcissicism it feeds into your soul,
Making you a star every moment,
Oh! Wake up and answer your call,
Not studying, would later help you lament,
Your teacher will question you,
“I knew you were facebooking”,
And to her you’ll give a silly nod,
Expecting her to be understanding!

It’s ended the “real” social life,
As couch potatoes sit in front of their pcs,
It’s boring after awhile,
Seeing people’s changing faces!
While you still maybe “quizzing”,
Or chatting with “21” friends online,
Ask, answer to yourself,
Are all those people really your “friends”?
Changing realities won’t change the truth,
Your best ones will stay closer than your kin,
The ones whom you greet and talk to,
Are the ones behind you places switch?

While jokes keep cracking now and then,
There is a real danger,
To us, to families, and to their children,
Who stick like a leech with their computers?
And as I write this long poem,
Lamenting and feeling sad,
I myself am part of it,
I wish I hadn’t been,
But I’m glad for some things,
More depressed for others,
As there was the mastermind “making” social relations,
A consequence of not having his best friend near!!


PS: After a wonderful talk with a friend, which served as a stress buster, I do agree that in the end nothing can destroy us, and its in our own hands what we wish to do, whether its facebooking people, or staying "actually" connected with them.

A bond with a picture...

There are times when lyrics of a song do justice to your emotions, there are times when even an instrumental music speaks to you exactly the way you feel at that moment, it brings tears of joy or sadness, or simply memories you cherished or wish to forget.
this time it was a picture for me which I found here while going through the pictures. This picture made an instant connect with my 'present' state of affect...here it goes..

This picture you see here speaks a lot the way I ‘m feeling right now. A dab of blue in the background, good portions of yellow ( lowlessness- yeah I just made a word) and seldom reds to signify there exists a 'life' in me.

Even if you wish to see the true colors of me,

At the moment, you may not see,

I’m all stressed up coz of work,

The yellow with reds wishes to spurt,

But is overpowered by blue, the color of the sea.

And as I try hard to change the hues,

The texture remains the same,

The waves of the ocean on a ‘low’ tide,

Create havoc as they rise again.

But my fellow tulips tell me,

There isn’t much to lose,

The winter will soon end,

Giving way to magnificence of the spring,

And all the days shall not be that gloomy,

As there will be sun to love ‘me’.

And with this hope,

I wait for the days,

(Keenly and enthusiastically, in my heart)

When I shall jump like a kid,

And like a fountain twist and dance.

For now, instill the calmness,

Of the oceans and the seas,

I need the moon for beauty and serenity,

Peace is what I wish for,

As the commotion is too hard to handle,

Oh! dear blue,

Fade away, like a miracle!!

Let them “Be”

As I step into this new world of mine everyday with a beautiful smile, expecting things and people to be kind, wishing the day to be more than just ‘fine’, all I view is the beauty in them. Until a few moments before a nice friend of mine brought me face- to face with ‘reality’ of what these people are and how I think them to be (as some ‘good’ people with whom I spend my working hours.

I do not regret having smiled at them, nor do I regret having helped them or having shared a joke with them. And even if at the end of the day I do get to know that they wish to talk some bad stuff about me, and stop themselves because of the fact that someone close to me is there, who might inform me, I do not wish to care, but I also do care (Why do you think then I’m writing this?)

In moments like these, I as a person only wish to learn from my friends (two wonderful ones) who have only given love and kindness in return of all the hatred, disgust, humiliation they got from a familial or a friendly end. So now the question is who am I then to lock my kindness, my generosity, and my friendliness in my heart; for these beautiful traits might just get rotten and stale if I keep them inside me instead of spreading them to people who might in turn learn from them or if nothing else benefit in some or the other way.

I, in my complete senses. am aware of the fact how genuine, honest and frank a person am I. I also know that in today’s time, of the billion population of ours perhaps only good handfuls are left who might be included in this category. Like the Zeitgeist ( the spirit of the times), moreover today’s parents might no more teach their child to be honest, good and true to others, instead qualities like malice, vengeance, tactfulness are ‘in’ and one can only with the help of these traits climb the ladder to success. Good for those who posses them and for those who teach them too, and lucky are those who might have them innately! ( This was just a satire, I do not intend to generalize).

Doing good to others, and emitting warmth, love and kindness to people around you regardless of what they are makes us feel more appreciative of the kind of person ‘we’ are. It does hurt (and I’m still wondering ‘WHY’, when you thought the ‘friend’ of yours to be genuine enough who only goes ahead to include you in their discussions of back-bitching). But then every person we meet or come across cannot be our friend, right?

So let those around you who bother you be the way they are. This in no way means that you act meekly in front of them or become subservient to their demands, for you too are of great importance! If you happen to witness their acts of filth, confront them, talk to them until they themselves feel ashamed or embarrassed of their deeds, and if they still continue to utter shit on your face, just smile to let them know you are at a far higher pedestal than where they stand!:)

You – “My Mirror”

Credits: Mark Lewanski

These years that swept by,

Like a wave dissolving a sand castle,

The girl wrote poems and stories,

Of a life, perhaps worthy being a novel.

The words were her power,

The thoughts, the backbone, like an ink

A dip of the pen, pierced the memories,

With freshness, in which past had sunk.

Who knows it was true or false?

The readings she thought to have read,

Of the events that were overpowering,

This while she thought to have learnt,

From her every back step.

In a market full of treasures,

In a mirror, she saw a lady,

Behind whom a girl stood,

Longing to touch it, but a li’l wary!

The mirror brought her closer

Facade

How easy it is to fool someone,

In this world full of innocents,

And for every mask they wear and remove,

There are some to be happy,

And those who lament.

Shed a tear, wipe it away,

Clean your face; you’re the same again,

An experiment to test,

Will give you answers at best.

Those bonded intuitively,

Shall catch you in time,

And those far from you,

Will never ever rhyme.

The ‘real’ in this world,

Is hard to find,

For millions keep speaking,

But it appears a mime!

The social world which we made to live,

The fake smiles which we accept and give,

It’s the mind and the heart,

Which remain true to you,

‘Coz inside they reside,

Outside, they feel all blue.

And the irony of ironies,

Exists in this life,

We know we are being deceived,

Yet we wish to strive,

The false hopes and high expectations,

One day they’ll all crumble,

And go on a long vacation.

Then we’ll cry for not having accepted,

That this life is a mask,

With many facades,

One on your left, a million on the right,

You too a part,

But just not ‘in- sight’.

It’s a jungle of madness,

All sensible, yet crazy,

Its operations, so human,

But administrates mechanically.

Why all the flattery?

Why licking other’s shoes?

Can we not be ourselves?

And do what we wish to?

A cycle of façade,

Don’t know if it has a history,

It all seems so new,

With a mysterious kind of mystery!

The value of a GIFT

‘Gift giving’ as a process may be exciting for some people, yes I would like to emphasize on ‘SOME’. I think many people in this world, however, consider it burdensome, to get gifts and to give gifts.

There is no human on this planet earth who doesn’t likes wonderful and pleasant surprises (and as the percentage goes, even those who hate surprises, there are not of our concern at the moment). Gifts have an immense potential to convey the way we feel about someone. More special a person is to us, the more willing we are to expend our precious time and effort to pick a gift that aptly suits the person. And what better way to get a return gift than a wonderful smile, a warm hug and a ‘thank you’ said right from the heart.

When people think of gift giving and receiving as something very tedious, the whole pleasure and the fun of it disappears in the thoughts of giving gifts matching the cost of the gift we received, getting a gift which is way too cheeky or cheap according to our taste or in return give a gift which shows the person where you stand and where he/ she stands.

Do you see any joy in this? NO! While I agree, that social obligations make it ‘mandatory’ for us to give gifts in return which match up or at least nearly match the standards of the gifts we have received, but can we not forget all that at some times and reflect on the feelings of love which goes along when someone gives and receives a gift?

I have too many thoughts in my mind at present, at how to put them in an order is difficult for me!

I personally love making my special and dear friends feel ‘special’ and they simply love the surprises, no matter how small they might be. Many times I have been surprised to the extent when some have told me that they have never ever received a hand-made card by anyone, while I love making hand- made cards. Cards made by self, where you might even just write a ‘thank you’, ‘I love you’, or ‘You are special’ hold more significance than ready made cards. Just the way the freshness, aroma, the softness of an oven fresh cake lures you to come near it and have a biiig bite of it, similarly anything custom- made for the ‘special person’ means more than anything to him/ her.

I would like to share how I make my dear ones feel special:

1. By buying gifts they deserve: While it may seem calculative, I do think that every gift has a ‘person to be given to’ in mind. So best friends get the best of the lot, and good friends get the good stuff of the lot, and casual friends are not given casual stuff! Why? Coz perhaps we don’t wish to show them that we cannot gift! For them, we especially ‘think’ and gift.

2. Words of love: These words go directly either into a card or a letter, especially written for my friends! You can try it too, it’s not that hard telling them how much you love them and how much they mean to you!

3. Going gaga over my friends: ITS VERY very easy, All you gotta do is, tell them how much you love, adore them and are happy for them, on wall posts, through messages, by tagging them in beautiful pictures, dedicating a song or a staus to them, until they get tired!! Lol;)…

Often while exchanging gifts, we end us receiving some which we dislike so much yet we have to put up a fake smile and thank them as if that was the best ever gift someone gave to us! These situations become extremely awkward, for we cannot let them know how much we loathe what they gave to us. I really don’t know how we handle such situations! They become so uncomfortable. So next time, when it is our turn, do we gift them something of the same range, or a higher range to let them know how giving we are, regardless of what they gave us!

Sri Sri Ravi Shankar says that continue to love and to be kind, continue to give no matter how much hatred you might get in return, a day will come when the person will realize and feel small for himself in front of all that he was given and then will make all the efforts to be more good to you than you were to him!. I even got to hear an interesting experience from an aunty on this one, and it was indeed astonishing.

I’ll end up on a happy note, coz I like happy endings.

Gift to show that you love,

Gift to show that you care,

Gift to bring a smile,

Gift to give a hug,

Gift sometimes, out of the blue,

Not always to those who mean to you,

Gift can be a simple thank you,

Or a smile that says ‘I love you’!

‘Grand’-Parents

A friend of mine happened to share with me of how her dadi would encourage her to pursue modeling as she is 5 ft 9 inches tall, how she would ask her sweetly if she has a boyfriend ( and when my friend answered ‘no’, her dadi told her that she would wait for the time to hear the good news, if my friend ever made a boyfriend). Her dadi also encouraged her to volunteer for CWG, saying “Don’t worry about the late night hours, who gets an opportunity to be a part of such historic events again and again?"

And all this while, my mouth was wide opened (not so wide that a fly would come into my mouth:P) and I was amazed! Surprised by the open –mindedness of her dadi, of how she was making herself flow with the currents of ‘today’s time.

Well I don’t know how many of you are aware of what it takes to be open-minded, liberal and graciously accepting and understanding other people’s opinions and views. And coming that from a woman who has seen the world changing, has lived in her ‘own’ times, and in the times of the present is some thing worth acknowledging for!

I myself have no clue of how harsh or nice I will be with my kids, if I’ll be able to bend my line of thought, to match theirs or I’ll be cynical of my children’s ‘ideas –of- having- fun’.Interestingly, my friends pointed out to me, that I’ll be a strict mom with a soft heart, hmmm!!

While these things are too far- fetched to think of, what I feel is having even one elder person in your life, who invites you, unknowingly, to share your story of life with them (every single thing) and understands it just the way you would want them to, at the same time in a polite manner conveys your mistakes and how to be able to correct them, would prove to be nothing less than a jewel found once in a lifetime!

And , I have yet not found that jewel, and perhaps even it if it is suffice to say that there are jewels around me, I somehow have grown up to be intimidated by them, to the extent of not exploring their sheen! Though our ‘best’ friends always form one of the most significant part of our lives, yet an advice of an elderly person, their wisdom which they bestow upon us, sometimes by scolding, and sometimes by gentling pushing us forward to lead the way can be easily compared to an angel in disguise.

This reminds me of my dadu( paternal grandfather) who lived such a simple life, and pampered us to an extent our parents cannot even think of. Every single day when he would come to pick us up from our bus stop, and on our way back to home, we would have ‘bunta’ ( aerated silver, black or orange colored drinks you get in a bottle sealed with the help of a marble). I repeat, Every Single Day. In those years, Coca Cola used to be a litlle expensive for the pocket, so one day he happened to take me and my brother to a shop, to have it, and we were elated and joyous. One thing which I felt guilty about after his demise was how we as kids would run to home, and he would carry our two heavy bags , not saying even a word.

With my dadu every single moment was a treat ( ‘jalsa’ what we call in Punjabi). In the evenings , when we would go to the park to play, he would treat us with orange or mango or raspberry ice lollies ( the very vendors from whom we had these lollies in our growing years, and now detest them for their quality of icecreams, simply coz they did not have a brand!). Sometimes he would make us eat ‘shakargandi’ ( sweet potatoes from the vendor). I hardly recall any request of ours being declined. And, surprisingly, I would not say that we have turned up to be spoilt kids.No, in no respect. And because of the precise reason, my dad too trusts me and my brother when we ask for money, or sometimes rather forget to ask for our pocket moneys. We know the value of money, have never spent extra money for useless stuff ( we have had our share of fun too, shopping, eating with friends or watching movies, but everything comes under a control limit, that we exercise on our own).

I happened to read sometime back, of how parents of today’s generation keep pin pointing their parents not to indulge the little kid in this or that, and on the contrary these grandparents have lived a fuller life in terms of experiences and what not, so they are more experienced in knowing what is right or not. No matter how old they might get, yet the instinct which makes them love, play and indulge their grand children in various activities can in no way be compared to what the parent’s instincts might say.While you might disagree with me on some things ( of course you can), there is still no denying the value which grand parents have in a growing kid’s life.

In praise of the love the grandparents shower on their grand children.

Love you dadu!

Yours

Kriti

A Poem for every occasion

There lived a Poem,

In a world of her own,

Simple, ordinary, yet splendid,

The magic she created was with words,

Making some hearts cry with her beauty.

Her words touched the soul,

Of those who read,

Her words made them ponder and reflect,

To what they and the life is,

Questions she asked,

In the notes of music,

Secrets, which she never kept,

For how could she?

‘Coz she was a Poem,

Portraying every emotion of hers,

Yet not transparent, but translucent,

For understanding her, they needed depth.

And one fine day,

As she walked the path,

On which she did everyday,

She fell upon a Poem, a song,

The one which stole her heart away,

The way she felt,

Was never before,

A feeling, all pleasant and new,

Bewildered, surprised and amazed,

She wrote poems, enraptured with this view,

“Was this love or more” she thought,

“Or a streak of madness?”

“Many love me for the way I express”

“But no one to call my own”

“Now seems I can live my life”

“Holding on to this Poem I found!”

“And if the verses, and the stories,

Meet up for a gala event,

Let them know, I fell in love,

With that Poem, worth a million cents,

And that day, I will be “me” again,

Sharing my love for thee,

Who knows in the chaos?

As I look for you, you may find me!

My unyielding notions

Some times some disparate views lead to insights, one which might help us walk the path of acceptance, love and giving. A talk with a friend led me some thoughts, which I intend to work on....

I’m aware of the fact that individual differences exist. I’m aware how we as individuals tend to form stereotypes and have preconceived notion about others. And here comes the sad bit: What’s the use of studying so much of psychology, getting to learn all the theories I already know of, when I’m unable to apply them in my own life. It’s like saying that ‘people might come to psychotherapists and psychologists so as to seek help for their problems, but where and to whom do these very experts turn to in their own moments of confusion and anguish?’

A conversation with a mature friend made me come face to face with my own very rigid notions of evaluating certain kinds of people. On second thoughts, I do realize that whatever my friend said and told me was very relevant and significant too, but even after all that talking, I’m still stuck! I’m amazed and indeed shocked the way I acted. Even then my feet are jammed; they do not seem to move further no matter how hard I try.

I have no words to say in support of or against these obstinate ideas of mine. All I know is they make me act in a very harsh way towards people who are worthy of being treated respectfully and nicely, no matter what they do I do not agree of! And in turn, my notions tend to or might influence my relationship with them. Considering this as a hazardous aspect, I wish to bring in some positive change, one which makes me respect what others wish to do or take a stand while I take my own.

I read somewhere ‘It’s the acts of people which are bad, not them’. Perhaps this thought could help me take a step forward in the right direction, one which opens doors rather than making me shut them, one which leads to acceptance rather than complete repudiation of the person.

I’m ready to dissolve the rigid chains that have held me tightly all these years. Time has come to look beyond the artificial, and appreciate the ‘real’!

Thank you dear friend for this insight!!

Going Nowhere

Just think for a moment: What if you kept walking to a place that had no destination, no dead end to it or for that matter even the path ‘itself’ was unaware where it was leading to? What would you do?

Before reading on, close your eyes for few moments. Think and ponder over it. Imagine all the feelings you would undergo on having known these facts. Try and absorb yourself in them.

And now if I do think that you did what I requested you to, or even if you chose to go ahead and read, here is what I think I would do.

I’m a girl who, all these years, hardly went ahead to do something that was different. By this I mean, that, though I have always had questions to ask from my teachers in class, I have always tried to be ‘kind-of inquisitive’ about things, yet still there was this major part of me which did only the conventional things.

That zeal to go ahead and live life with the flow, careless and free, like cannonballs (The animal song by Savage Garden) has never been my cup of tea. And even till date, I wish to decide, pre- plan (though I’m not so good at it) the course that my life wishes to take. But, at the same time, I know that if someone would ask me even today that, what all would lie on my list of “100 things to do before I die”, surely all my deepest desires would be a part of it, and nowhere will I have the name of my current profession I’m pursuing.

However, this is not to say that I dislike the field I have taken up for myself. And, at the moment, indeed I’m saddened by the thought, that, why is it that we people keep postponing our moments of joy for the future? Thinking I’ll go join those dance classes when I’m done with this and this, I’ll do this when….

Now to go back to the path where I began, which eventually goes to “nowhere”, having given no choices, no social obligations to think of, or rather with a blank mind, I would actually decide to tread on that path, I would like to go on and on to see all those adventures, hurdles that that path would perhaps open up for me, yet escort to me no destination or goal.

Such is the journey to the centre of the ‘Self’ or even that which is wrapped with the cloaks of Subconscious and the Conscious, the ‘Unconscious’. No matter how deep you dig, just the way Freud, like an archaeologist attempted to excavate human facts, emotions, feelings, deep hidden truths, in his patients lives, a point will come where you’ll begin to realize that there is no end to your excavation, that no matter how many layers you try to peel off, there will always be that ‘something’ which will continue to ‘exist’ even though it cannot be seen with a naked eye!

And that ‘some thing’ is some thing I don’t know of, but am surely aware of!

The thought, and its reflection,
The image and its perception,

A pond which creates ripples,

Of magnitudes one cannot think of,

The depth, the vastness of the mind,

Infinite, no comparison to the sea,

The day, the year, the moment and that time,

Will one day come when with fervor,

You’ll say- “There is a lot beyond this ME’!

The labyrinth

HI! Welcome to this new world of mine. A world, where exists no linear relationships, that which are simple to understand, a world where all you get is to think, to think and TO THINK! A world where you may not get answers to your problems and doubts, instead more questions and thoughts to ponder over.
I really do not know whether it seems a roller coaster ride to all of you or not, but I personally feel as if I’m traveling through a deep, dark, long tunnel, which at some times lets the sun rays peep in, but more often than not it is darkness what resides deep within.
Coming to the point, it’s been a week since I started off with my Masters in Psychosocial Clinical Studies (Phew, my mind sighs even as I write the name). Ever since I began with the real work, my mind has been running on its own treadmill, poor Brainy, it gets so tired. No wonder then that my University’s decision to not teach us more than 4 hours a day was indeed a thoughtful one.
This is a very different place to be in, exhausting, mind- boggling, creative at the same time very taxing. There is so much of Philosophy, Politics, Sociology, Anthropology, and so less of ‘Psychology’ (though that’s not what we wanted, but chose it for ourselves, at least me). So, in a way it’s like saying the whole universe of Social Sciences resides in our class, thanks to our Brainy and Intellectual teacher, an alumni of Harvard, in Anthropology!
It might seem all so cool, but the truth it isn’t! But yes, I’m sure, it’s just the beginning, we do have a long way to go. I feel so sad for him, he is such a storehouse of ‘knowledge’ and ‘Information’ but when it comes to helping us understand something, poor guy, he finds it so hard to simplify, but ends up bombarding us with the names of the ever so great philosophers and by using jargons we have not even read all this while!
And then I’m all in awe of him, not always, though. Lately (Though it’s only been a week) my brain has got so tired of listening to the same things over and over again that it has started finding humor in between all this chaos and confusion that floats in my cerebrospinal fluid. And yes, I’m proud of this defense that it is using, what better way to face things?
But listening to him does makes me feel that ‘I know nothing at all’, simply ‘NOTHING’. There’s so much out there waiting to be read and to be explored and we people (especially “me”, don’t know about you) waste so much of time doing silly things. But yes at the same time I do feel that no degrees , no qualifications makes a person superior enough, for the fact is that at the end of the day an intelligent person is one who can communicate his/ her idea across in the most simplest, yet the best possible way!
I decided to enter this maze on my own will and choice, I do have many others who are accompanying me too, but we all are on our own paths, trying to learn from each step we take forward and backwards. No wonder, it is rightly said that to achieve some thing, we do need to put in a lot of efforts. I guess, time has come to whisper in my ears that I’m finally doing MASTERS!

Today is a gift called “PRESENT”

An article in today’s Times Life did left a profound impact on me; and this one which I’ll be writing will be on the same trail of thought!

No wonder, we often keep brooding and regretting over our past and plan about our future with child-like enthusiasm, but caught between the webs of the past and the future, we lose out on the present, a gift given to us by TIME!

I tried enjoying myself while I kneaded the dough today, I appreciated its softness, its texture, the way my fists stiffened the dough, ready to be molded into balls and fried into hot, fluffy puris!
I also enjoyed my bath today. Have you ever enjoyed the way water slips from your body, as if it ‘itself’ enjoyed being on you for few moments and then wished to go on its own path? The scent of the bathing wash, the foam of that wash on the loofah, the wetness of the hair so fragrant that it makes you fall in love with yourself?

I’ve felt this many a times, and it makes me feel that I’m not only pampering myself, but awakening my senses to the mundane things we continue to do every single day of our lives.

So fast is the pace of our lives today, that we are no less than the jugglers in a circus!!
We continue to run, dance on the wheel of life, balancing ourselves so perfectly that we forget that there was no need and no one ever wished us to be “Perfect”!
So whom are we actually trying to oblige and impress?

Caught by the fascination of the cameras on our cell phones, we act like berserk people clicking away pictures with our friends to show off the world on facebook, rather than leaving aside the clicking part and conjuring up the fine lines of the very day, the therapeutic talk with a friend, which our memory has better capacity to treasure it for a lifetime!!

How do you plan to live your life? Mourning over your past, which is full of your mistakes, and embarrassments? Or look at them as “lessons learnt” and read on the PRESENT chapter of your life? As for your future goes, who knows if tomorrow comes or not? Why not live in the present and cherish the gift of every moment? I choose to, do you?

MY VERY FIRST...."step"

Every beginning, every stepping stone towards our goal, has a first day!

I really don’t remember mine, though I remember my brother’s first day at school, he cried so innocently. He looked pretty cute.

I remember my first day at my new school in First grade. I was hesitant, scared, what kind of children I’ll find around me or for that matter befriend? Will others find me interesting?

The same anxiousness en-wrapped me today, the only difference was that that time I was in first grade, and now I’ll be starting off with my Masters!!

Ah! I know it sounds great? Right? I really don’t know.

These years blew like a wind.; one which was some times as hot as loo, at others time as calm as sea breeze, and in few moments of life it felt as if it danced with my happy moments too!

This time in Masters, the only difference was that I did bring along a group of my college friends with me here too. So, in a way, I was not completely lost.

I have already made 3 friends out of a class of 100 people; my friends seem pretty good. Rest only time has to tell how it goes.

Often in life we stumble upon things, which at that moment seem useless, we criticize them, find faults, but not soon enough we realize how close we were to those “very things” that all which comes out from our heart and mouth are words of love and attachment with those very things!

I say this in the context of my College “Jesus and Mary College”, one of “the” most prestigious ones in Delhi University!

I truly miss it. Everything about it. The lawns, which were not less than the ones at Rashtrapati Bhawan, where we used to bask under the sun in winters. The canteen, even though I didn’t had much from there, still. The rocks, a place we used to call “On the Rocks” sit there and get a feel of a hill station. And, my very own “Psychology Department”. The Freshers welcome, department fest, farewell, SPICMACAY festival, College fest, the rooms, and the teachers!! They were simply the best lot I had come across!

I feel bad, that right at the very first day of my “New” College, I started making comparisons, I started judging teachers by the way they spoke, the English they uttered from their mouths, or their ability to answer a student’s question or not! But yes, I acknowledge the fact that I’m at least aware of it! I know and perhaps I may even try making amends to this way of mine. I also know it’s pretty natural. Cognitively, our mind arranges information with the help of “schema” mental images we have of certain concepts; and they help us sort information.

*Sigh* My fingers are crossed, my heart sinks, reflecting on the long way I have already traveled and the future that awaits me to spread my wings! And as I walk near the cliff to open my wings again, I hope the flight I take is worth the effort put in by me!!