Saturday, June 30, 2012

Meditating high on life

It’s been a while since I have been practising meditation. Sure, its blissful but I’m here to share the fact that my definition of mediation has gone beyond the usual.

Meditation is stillness….like a lotus settled on mud water knowing nothing of what lies beneath, all it looks for is the wide blue sky where endless possibilities can be seen. It’s not that it isn’t aware of its surrounding, yet there more to life’s beauty than shortcomings.

Meditation is retrospection…..A look in the pond at times shows you not your own image, but the many imprints of the way people see you and the way you see yourself. The thoughts, feelings all come and pass by like clouds, you see the shape they form, and some clouds seem striking indeed, you pause, look at them and let them pass only to welcome some more in the mind.

Meditation is living out relationships…….Yes, its meditation too. Its hard for me to put in words, yet every moment spent caring, loving, remembering, missing, lingering or thinking about someone or for that matter the tiffs, the arguments, the silences or the lived out anger; all are nothing but meditation. It’s true it takes years to master the art of meditation, silence, calmness. It’s also true that in doing that there is a struggle involved in staying still, in being comfortable with the thoughts or the images that flash by.

One form of meditation that I came across in Gilbert’s ‘EAT.PRAY.LOVE’ was to simply sit with your eyes closed and smile. It’s a beautiful form of meditation. A smile on your face eases out all the worries automatically. However this is not to say that the troubles melt away. Yet, that smile empowers your spirit to appreciate that moment and gather the strength you need. That smile is a switch to invite all the past beautiful moments you spent with people or friends or anything that brought a smile on your face. It tells you that you alone have the power to change the course of events, to gift your self a smile that you truly deserve.
Meditation for me is that breath that you feel……either sitting quietly or walking briskly or dancing lovingly. It’s clouds and greens and all seasons together. Its petals of rose and that silky cloth. It’s thorns that prick your conscience alive. Its tears that flow as you try to keep that smile.

Meditating high on life…..


P.S.: It’s been a while here. Hope you all are doing well?? How are things at your end? Anything happening or exciting? J Looking forward when Delhi sprinkles its monsoon showers! Happy Weekend!

Wednesday, June 20, 2012

Ordinary or Extra-ordinary?

We all wish to be extra-ordinary, famous, renowned and what not? Well, like many others I have had that wish too. But this wish of mine led to a quandary in my mind. If at all one day I do get famous, I wonder if I’ll be able to take the fame, as much as it sounds fantastic, its different than being in your own nest, comfortable with your group of friends, a circle where that lovely few know your name.
When we are with our own people we don’t need to justify our course of actions, they know it’s a part of us, yet matters are discussed and decisions are subsequently taken. To be that extraordinaire one needs that unique feather in the hat, that which is visible form far away. “Oh! Look, look at her; yes her, with the eyes that gleam and the smile so broad and lovely, yes she wrote this book!” Sounds just so perfect!
I have a habit of bringing in “buts” in a beautiful land, but this time I shall not. This post is about being extra ordinary in especially ordinary way. In other words being special to people in our own skin, with what we are at best. There is no reason for me to mime or model anyone. Ideals we all have but imitation just takes the us from that ‘us’ farther away.
I’ll share one thing here. I have a knack to do many things. Many. I couldn’t believe how I ended up getting The Best student award in my undergrad years. That was my first! Yet knowing that my teachers found me worthy enough for that was a very proud moment for me. Today when I look at my Curriculum Vitae, my eyes shine with glee for I know it truly represents what I’m and what I have been.
Nay, I do not intend to popularize myself, have never done that and will never do. But yes, this blog began with sharing my poetry and my self a bit too. The knowledge that some bloggers ( not in huge numbers like I would have liked) over the course of these ( about to be-> ) two years loved and appreciated my work is very humbling. But then I also think that having few lovely avid readers who often drop by satisfies me? It indeed does, for had they not been there, the fire would have perhaps died all by itself (long ago, maybe). However since the fire is very much alive and burning, it is there to stayJ
The last year has particularly been a delightful one and so far this year too.  I have received some 30 postcards from across the globe with many sent as well (just in two months!). The cards nicely sit in two boxes I have. I believe in befriending people and gladly so I’ve never had to expend much effort, they just happen. As much as the words have warmth they have that ‘love filled’ intent too, so whether it is through postcrossers whom I write letters or you bloggy friends with whom I share many a things, it’s always a pleasure so true!
Have come a long way in these two years; recognised for my work at the academic front I dream of taking it far ahead. This heart trusts people, for when we take our hand forward, we also tell the other person that we gift you the ability to trust us and in return all we ask is love and trust to only strengthen the building which we’ll together build. Fortunately or unfortunately we all come across those so called ‘once upon a time friends’ but that in no way should deter us  in trusting the new ones. Why?
 Coz a loving heart knows always to give,
This is not to say it doesn’t breaks,
With dreams of future life and pals,
That heart tunes those melodies,
Which shall remind them of the spring,
The spring in life,
The spring in nature,
And that cool wind,
Which embraces the others,
With silky touch,
In words wrapped with orange rind!

With the hope that one fine day I shall have my own book of poems published!
We are all special in our own ways!:)

Monday, June 18, 2012


My love for you,
You may not know,
For expression isn’t that easy
But my smiles reach my heart,
That you know,
My eyes are easy to read

And your love for me,
I do not know,
Neither did you ever speak,
But your care and love,
I truly feel,
So what’s there to read?

Saturday, June 16, 2012

Where's the Light?

“Shut the curtains out!! Shut them!! Don’t you hear!! Shut them right away!!” she screamed at the top of her voice, in panic. Her face was red with blood which had rushed to her cheeks in those few seconds, beads of perspiration and breathlessness made her look so unlike her.
She basked in the darkness. Her darkness was deep and grave. Not a molecule of light should enter me, for God knows what shall follow and happen. Dare you speak of those of reluming  words and you shall be forever shunned away, not even your face shall be seen, your voice will be captured in that box, which I myself am unaware of.
But don’t leave her!? Yes, you, don’t you listen? Leave her not, for you shall be doomed with guilt until death. And then you ask me how shall you live in this darkness, in this room together with her? Well, the heart knows all answers. Beckon it and you shall find them. And then one wonders how she stays at the 25th floor for heights make her go insane too. Oh! You thought she came here by chance, well, may be, for who am I to answer all your questions?
Alone. Person-less. Light- less. Breath-less. Fear-full, dread-full, tear- full, overflowing with every possible emotion she could. Her limbic system said to itself “ Wait and watch, the next throw of the dice shall be more maddening lady!”
Could she be chained? Maybe, but her spirits could not! To outsiders, that apartment seemed creepy, noises once in a while and sudden silence lasting for days or months alone. This young lady who courageously entered her home didn’t know what to expect, all she knew was that someone in here was in need of love.
Who is an insane you tell me, I write it as ‘in-sane’, look at me in my eyes, would you like to be abandoned if you get delusional tomorrow or hallucinate conversations which only you yourself hear, no one there to believe in your story? The world would come crashing down, right? In that moment, my friend, hold my hand, I’ll light your day! I’ll listen to your stories where you get trapped or are persecuted by your very own; and if one day comes when struck by amnesia you forget who I was or was I ever near you, I shall share our pictures with you and if we don’t happen to click them at all, I shall cross my heart and believe that if not your mind, your heart still remembers me.
She sat quietly with her. The woman, her hair now dishevelled went into panic on the sight of light. “It’s okay Clair, its okay. In dark we shall be if you want to be" she said to her softly. Claire quietened down. With her eyes filled with tears she kept her head on the young lady’s shoulder. The beads finally fell onto her cheek, finding their way onto her lap.
In darkness is optimism. In darkness is light. In dark we can love, without the other knowing our ways. This darkness was hers to keep. This darkness was hers alone. And then there came this angel, in dark, to embrace as her own.
This young girl tended to Claire’s needs. For a suspicious person to even welcome one person in their life, is a ray of hope. So where was darkness now that her heart had been warmed with love?
The curtains were still never drawn even as this young lady craved for sunlight. It was gloomy inside, but not when she saw Claire’s smile in candle light. That one glitter of hope told her that one day curtains shall be drawn and her fears shall fly away. That one day was near……….

In her diary she wrote:

“Darkness beckons me, with her I walk……..
Night and day, one for me…..two souls, one day……
Dear light, miss not on her, for you are needed……
By her, by me, in those rays, which bless us,
For now……in darkness”.

Wednesday, June 13, 2012

Dreamy Land #2: Greece

A place where the languages, the intellect and the beauties evolved from......Greece.

The Greek philosophy, the style of written language and the myths are all very alluring. And yes I wish to go to this country, to Agora, from where the word 'agoraphobia' comes, to Athens, and to the most gorgeous combination of blue and white....Santorini:)

I recently got a beautiful postcard from a postcrosser from Greece, just like I would love to have:) but for now...
The famous Acropolis in Athens

My love: Santorini

So cute and bright!

Sunset at Santorini
If I close my eyes,
And get transported to a place,
It shall be the land of blue and white,
Land of beauty and grace,
And I won't mind being alone,
Or the company of my mate,
For Santorini, Greece, 
Shall take my breath away!

It's been a while

Its been a while……….
I miss blogging. I really do! Two years back when this blog saw its day, I was madly reading blogs after blogs and like a little kid who is shown her way to the Chocolate Factory, I was delighted by everything ‘bloggy’. The look of the blogs, the backgrounds, the badges, the way bloggers displayed their creativity etc etc..
Two years down the line…things have changed. Priorities have changed too. It’s not that I have become a busy young lady who has lot of chores to do. Yet, things have changed. I’m at this point in life, where some short term goals in life have been ticked off, others are on their way to be ticked off, and the pursuit of my dreams invites me.
A lot has been going on in this mind of mine. It’s like thoughts get churned every now and then, and come up in varied forms. Off late, I have begun to think that perhaps blogging is best for me when I have work to do; just like they say, that the most creative ideas get sparked off when you have your exams to give! I still remember writing the story “Colours of Faith” ( which is very close to my heart) when I had a final term paper submission due in perhaps 2 days?!! And that was one kinda story I wrote!
I still write poems, in hindi and English, haiku yes have been on a roll, but not on blog.

There is something lacking,
An absence, I feel,
Some people who seem near, get distanced,
Others, far away, become a nice treat,
And to where shall my path lead,
Friendships I wonder about,
My dreams, my present reality,
Clueless, I stride along,
And then there are those who are proud of me,
I question myself,
As they gleam, their lovely smiles,
At me and for me,
My eyes bewildered,
Who is me?
Where is me?

This present I know is a part of me,
Had to come and now it sees me,
Each day to live with certainty,
Yes, that’s my idea, that’s a bit me,
And what happens when you reach that end?
No!, not dead, but a folk you see,
Of personal, professional, life of yours,
You wish not to decide,
For it all looks heavy!

Sunday, June 3, 2012

High on Dreams

High on dreams

I’m intoxicated,
Drunk to the brim,
These images I see,
They call dreams,
Oh! mistake them not for hallucinations
I’ve studied psychology,
So I know what that means,
I’m simply, delightfully high on dreams!

I cried last night like a water fountain
Knowing not where my creativity shall go
Today I smile at my innocence
For I know it has already begun to show

You see that lake in the midst of the campus
And that serene bench right under that tree
A bag full of books
Some in hand too
A diary along, giving me company
I’m happily drained and high on dreams!

Some ticked off on my chart,
Some yet to work on and complete
Vigour, brilliance entices me
My brain dances its melody
My recent past, a beloved friend
My future, I guess shall be as friendly
Oh! Yes darling, call me mad, if you wish
            But, I ‘m truly high on dreams


Saturday, June 2, 2012

Greatful ......yet again..

Greatful ......yet again..

It’s been a long time since I was greatful. In a quick go….
·       To my dear Sir again, who was my foundation and my sole strength for my dissertation.
·       To my darling friend Vrinda, a girl I have never met, yet met for ever. For her lovely surprise and heart warming love and wishes.
·       To my teacher from Undergrad whom I always reach back to, for good news’s which I share and for every step I walk up in the ladder of my life.
·       To my two wonderful years of Masters. The hair pulling, the tears, the cribbing, the panic attacks were all worthwhile. I proudly say today “It was a risky, but the best decision of my life”. Yup, I’m a postgraduate now!
·       To happiness: for showing me her beauty, smiles, love and sparkly eyes. Happiness is me. Me is happiness.
·       To days at park spent walking: Ah! The sites make me smile. A dad with his little daughter or two kids chasing each other or boys playing football or elderly talking to each other.
·       To meditation: For reaching to me, and making me in turn reach to my inner self.

And to my blog, for always being so loving, even as I come back to it, now, not so often.

And Maxabella...from where this tradition of greatfulness began..:)
Happy weekend!

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