May be it’s a repetitive pattern of sorts. Or may be
it’s the overthinking brain that says that. Or maybe it actually is, who knows?
What we believe in or
do not believe in is influenced by all our previous years of existence, how
then are we supposed to find out what “messed” us up in good or bad ways? And
what may be good for me may be bad for you? So where do we really meet? Do we
meet like the sun meets the vast limitless ocean at the horizon? A place where
we “feel” that they are meeting but it is only just a realistic fantasy!
One question leads to
another and before we know it the session hour comes to an end with both the
client and the therapist feeling something about the session. One may think it
was a fantastic session and the other may just feel a little more broken and
torn apart, yet term it “overwhelmed”, a word she uses for both exciting
experiences and ravenous ones too! It’s interesting, isn’t it, how one word means
both good and bad? If that can be true for just a word, then what about people
and their experiences?
Then there suddenly
pops up the colour gray, denoting in its presence all that lies in- between the
shades of black and white, a place where the so called ‘good’ and the so called’
black’ simply merge together, making an all- encompassing being. Now you may
call that being a human/ a heart or even a mind. Ah! The workings!
The writings of a solemn
mood are different. They make you question everything. While it may be ‘good’
in some areas but what happens when you begin to question everything, deeming your
existence a big question mark!? See, how easily we put things into the ‘good’
and the ‘ bad’, never really letting the experiences be? Perhaps one reason is
the discomfort some experiences lead to and that leads us to evading them,
sweeping so much under the carpet, until one day the carpet rises to be a
mountain!
If you are thinking
what I just wrote was in a melancholic frame of a mind, I’ll say “ maybe/ maybe
not”. You might then respond by saying that it is either a yes or a no. I’ll
then say “ What if I’m currently living in the world of maybe’s? Isn’t that
what the gray is all about? A place where the good and the bad meet, giving me
a possibility of the both? You might then reply “ It’s a dull colour
nonetheless, right? And then I’ll scoff at you, thinking what might be dull for
you may be bright for me! But then what about the majority? What about the
other colours on the spectrum? What shall you say to them or call them if gray
is your brightest colour? Well, how about not naming them anything for once?
Really? That’s absurd! Indeed it is! For sometimes we forget that name calling
things and experiences becomes so innate in us, that we forget just letting
them be! We forget just letting them be!
