The words of this poem came naturally to me when I was hearing this song " Do nishaniyan" from the movie Jhootha hi Sahi.Songs have immense power. They stir your emotions in ways one can never think of. So here it goes.....:)
This music, these words talk to me,
Not just the ‘surface’ that you see,
But, a lot more, that lies in deep,
The feelings it evokes in me,
Are hard to explain, as I focus on the ‘feel’,
The music that dances like a fountain,
The colors that paint the canvas,
The song that makes me at ease,
A lullaby, so musical, worth so much,
The voice of the singer, I would like to kiss,
The love, the pain, I hear as he sings,
The flute, the violin, the piano, and me,
I close my eyes, and enter a well-lit garden,
Where I imagine my beloved and the music as a gift,
No words spoken, nor do I hear,
All I feel is the musical love in the air!
And had I been deaf, I wonder,
What would make me dance, make me feel
The way I do as I now hear!
So often it’s the singer we appreciate,
Forgetting those who made the song,
Each instrument, each musician, I see,
Puts his soul in the work I hear as I feel,
And now that these instruments are a part of “me”,
Some times some disparate views lead to insights, one which might help us walk the path of acceptance, love and giving. A talk with a friend led me some thoughts, which I intend to work on....
I’m aware of the fact that individual differences exist. I’m aware how we as individuals tend to form stereotypes and have preconceived notion about others. And here comes the sad bit: What’s the use of studying so much of psychology, getting to learn all the theories I already know of, when I’m unable to apply them in my own life. It’s like saying that ‘people might come to psychotherapists and psychologists so as to seek help for their problems, but where and to whom do these very experts turn to in their own moments of confusion and anguish?’
A conversation with a mature friend made me come face to face with my own very rigid notions of evaluating certain kinds of people. On second thoughts, I do realize that whatever my friend said and told me was very relevant and significant too, but even after all that talking, I’m still stuck! I’m amazed and indeed shocked the way I acted. Even then my feet are jammed; they do not seem to move further no matter how hard I try.
I have no words to say in support of or against these obstinate ideas of mine. All I know is they make me act in a very harsh way towards people who are worthy of being treated respectfully and nicely, no matter what they do I do not agree of! And in turn, my notions tend to or might influence my relationship with them. Considering this as a hazardous aspect, I wish to bring in some positive change, one which makes me respect what others wish to do or take a stand while I take my own.
I read somewhere ‘It’s the acts of people which are bad, not them’. Perhaps this thought could help me take a step forward in the right direction, one which opens doors rather than making me shut them, one which leads to acceptance rather than complete repudiation of the person.
I’m ready to dissolve the rigid chains that have held me tightly all these years. Time has come to look beyond the artificial, and appreciate the ‘real’!
This is “me” reporting from Aakriti Malik’s B.R.A.IN. Headquarters where a lot of recent activities have led to a mental shock of an absurd kind to all the other small agencies which work under it. It seems as if the time has come to a standstill!
Here I am asking her what this whole chaos is all about.
Q. Ma’am, what happened to “You” all of a sudden, how do you happen to feel that time has stopped?
A. Well, I happened to go on facebook, and see the pictures of a batch mate of mine from school, who has recently got married, that is no less than a shock to me! I was confused whether to feel happy or sad for the girl. And I was left with no option but to vent all my shock and feelings to this best friend of mine, and phew....I feel so much better now, but still I’m in a daze!
Q. Ma’am, but why such a strong reaction, marriages keep happening right?
A. Are you kidding me? I mean no offense sweetheart, but marriage at the age of 21!!!!!??? And seeing a batch mate of yours is getting married is even more surprising! Well, there is so much in life to do than to get married. But that does not mean I totally detest it! But dear, let’s be practical, this is 21st century and we are far far ahead than what the world used to be. At least I’m glad of the fact that my parents are open minded. And though I know that they might have started saving money and now even so more, for my marriage, but I don’t feel any pressure, and the day I do feel, I have that much space to express too. In short- I’m lucky to have been born to such wonderful parents!
Q. When do you have plans of getting married?
A. Oh! I so wish if you hadn’t popped up this clichéd question to me. But now that you have asked I’ll tell you, the answer to this question lies in the above answer. Go play dear, hunt for the answer, you might just find it! And if you don’t, then come back to me!
Q. OK. What if I say I don’t wish to play and want you to tell me the answer directly?
A. Hmm.. Well then, here you go. Marriage to me right now seems a joke, I laugh at it and don’t even think of it. To me, at present, the numbers (age) which are getting added to my life each year seem kind of weird too. Why, if you ask, it’s because, I feel like a sixteen- seventeen year old girl, who wants to live life, chase her dreams, and reach her goals, soar high like an eagle and dance like I’ve never had.
It is a very mature decision to marry someone. I think, and for that to happen, one needs to be independent, self-sufficient, be mature in ways that I can tell you only when I reach that stage! So for now, all I want is to have fun with my girly gang, live life happily and pursue my dreams!!
Byez...The headquarters are now operational!
So you heard it right from the girl herself, all’s well now, the shock has been well absorbed and the network is functioning well again!!
This is “me” reporting; see you again in times of emergency!
Just as I was about to add Boost in my milk, something made me stop, it was like a voice (inside me) which told me to have the milk in its pure form- nice and hot, without sugar or any other additives. I had the pure and the plain milk, it tasted delicious, and thanks to that moment, I got a topic to write!
Sometimes the best deals one can get can be in a ‘raw’ form. Now whether they are fruits (like the crispness and the sweetness of a beautiful red apple or the softness of the tender banana or the juiciness of cute round tomatoes) or vegetables (the bitterness of a bitter gourd, the freshness of the cool cucumber) or human expressions and emotions, the raw ones are the most fresh and the purest ones of all. Nothing can beat the richness and the quality of the heart fresh (like we use ‘oven fresh’) emotions and feelings!
I talk here about all the feelings ranging on a continuum from the bad ones to the good ones. In that way, one gets to see the pure expression of falling in love on one end, and on the other we might get to see intense hatred and disgust of the person towards another. Nothing matters as long as the emotions are ‘pure’; not mixed with sediments of ‘fakeness’ or not discoloured by dust particles of ‘modifications’.
But, it is not easy tasting ‘pure’ and ‘raw’ every time, for some people not even once. The mere reason being that we all are so used to tasting the cooked, baked, fried, grilled form of feelings, emotions, that the raw ones taste bland. So, even if they are presented to us right from ‘heart fresh farm’, either they are not acknowledged, or if they are, they are sent to the kitchen of the mind to be cooked in order to make them edible!
Well, whatever be the case, we need to understand the value of the ‘raw’. For if there would be no raw, there would be no cooked too! What would you feed your heart and mind? Blankness? No thoughts to think about, no emotions to feel for?
In today’s world while everyone talks about ‘organic’, they might as well apply in here too. We want to become healthy, we want to be fit too, but what’s the use of it all, if you discard the old and ‘pure’ (feelings and emotions) in order to create space for the new?
Genuinely expressed feelings, emotions, desires and wants, which too in their purest form have become a cuisine which people used to feed on at one point of time. But amidst the hustle bustle of making new cuisines a taste of our hearts and minds, there still are some few chefs in this world who deliver, to you ,‘heart fresh’ food for your mind and heart , from one heart to another. And I have tasted that pure, fresh, aromatic, rich flavour of it- It lingers on, and unlike other foods, instead of making you crave for it; it makes you appreciate the goodness of that chef’s kitchen and heart!
Just think for a moment: What if you kept walking to a place that had no destination, no dead end to it or for that matter even the path ‘itself’ was unaware where it was leading to? What would you do?
Before reading on, close your eyes for few moments. Think and ponder over it. Imagine all the feelings you would undergo on having known these facts. Try and absorb yourself in them.
And now if I do think that you did what I requested you to, or even if you chose to go ahead and read, here is what I think I would do.
I’m a girl who, all these years, hardly went ahead to do something that was different. By this I mean, that, though I have always had questions to ask from my teachers in class, I have always tried to be ‘kind-of inquisitive’ about things, yet still there was this major part of me which did only the conventional things.
That zeal to go ahead and live life with the flow, careless and free, like cannonballs (The animal song by SavageGarden) has never been my cup of tea. And even till date, I wish to decide, pre- plan (though I’m not so good at it) the course that my life wishes to take. But, at the same time, I know that if someone would ask me even today that, what all would lie on my list of “100 things to do before I die”, surely all my deepest desires would be a part of it, and nowhere will I have the name of my current profession I’m pursuing.
However, this is not to say that I dislike the field I have taken up for myself. And, at the moment, indeed I’m saddened by the thought, that, why is it that we people keep postponing our moments of joy for the future? Thinking I’ll go join those dance classes when I’m done with this and this, I’ll do this when….
Now to go back to the path where I began, which eventually goes to “nowhere”, having given no choices, no social obligations to think of, or rather with a blank mind, I would actually decide to tread on that path, I would like to go on and on to see all those adventures, hurdles that that path would perhaps open up for me, yet escort to me no destination or goal.
Such is the journey to the centre of the ‘Self’ or even that which is wrapped with the cloaks of Subconscious and the Conscious, the ‘Unconscious’. No matter how deep you dig, just the way Freud, like an archaeologist attempted to excavate human facts, emotions, feelings, deep hidden truths, in his patients lives, a point will come where you’ll begin to realize that there is no end to your excavation, that no matter how many layers you try to peel off, there will always be that ‘something’ which will continue to ‘exist’ even though it cannot be seen with a naked eye!
And that ‘some thing’ is some thing I don’t know of, but am surely aware of!
The thought, and its reflection,
The image and its perception,
Sometimes some strangers become a part of our life as FRIENDS, only to make us feel as if they've always been around!!!:)
