Going Nowhere

Just think for a moment: What if you kept walking to a place that had no destination, no dead end to it or for that matter even the path ‘itself’ was unaware where it was leading to? What would you do?

Before reading on, close your eyes for few moments. Think and ponder over it. Imagine all the feelings you would undergo on having known these facts. Try and absorb yourself in them.

And now if I do think that you did what I requested you to, or even if you chose to go ahead and read, here is what I think I would do.

I’m a girl who, all these years, hardly went ahead to do something that was different. By this I mean, that, though I have always had questions to ask from my teachers in class, I have always tried to be ‘kind-of inquisitive’ about things, yet still there was this major part of me which did only the conventional things.

That zeal to go ahead and live life with the flow, careless and free, like cannonballs (The animal song by Savage Garden) has never been my cup of tea. And even till date, I wish to decide, pre- plan (though I’m not so good at it) the course that my life wishes to take. But, at the same time, I know that if someone would ask me even today that, what all would lie on my list of “100 things to do before I die”, surely all my deepest desires would be a part of it, and nowhere will I have the name of my current profession I’m pursuing.

However, this is not to say that I dislike the field I have taken up for myself. And, at the moment, indeed I’m saddened by the thought, that, why is it that we people keep postponing our moments of joy for the future? Thinking I’ll go join those dance classes when I’m done with this and this, I’ll do this when….

Now to go back to the path where I began, which eventually goes to “nowhere”, having given no choices, no social obligations to think of, or rather with a blank mind, I would actually decide to tread on that path, I would like to go on and on to see all those adventures, hurdles that that path would perhaps open up for me, yet escort to me no destination or goal.

Such is the journey to the centre of the ‘Self’ or even that which is wrapped with the cloaks of Subconscious and the Conscious, the ‘Unconscious’. No matter how deep you dig, just the way Freud, like an archaeologist attempted to excavate human facts, emotions, feelings, deep hidden truths, in his patients lives, a point will come where you’ll begin to realize that there is no end to your excavation, that no matter how many layers you try to peel off, there will always be that ‘something’ which will continue to ‘exist’ even though it cannot be seen with a naked eye!

And that ‘some thing’ is some thing I don’t know of, but am surely aware of!

The thought, and its reflection,
The image and its perception,

A pond which creates ripples,

Of magnitudes one cannot think of,

The depth, the vastness of the mind,

Infinite, no comparison to the sea,

The day, the year, the moment and that time,

Will one day come when with fervor,

You’ll say- “There is a lot beyond this ME’!