An ode to FRIENDSHIP

To my dear friends, old and new,

To the most ‘precious’, not many, but few,

To the friends who showed me the world,

And to those with whom I now share the view,

To the life that you brought in ‘me’

To the smile that dazzled the eyes,

To the love that spread miles away,

To the care, like a blanket, warm and wide,

To the laughter, that radiated many faces,

To the pranks, silly and amusing,

To the tears, full of salt and emotions,

To the effort t o cheer the other,

To the words that struck the right chord,

To the reading minds and intuitive thoughts,

To make my life worth living,

Under a canopy of selected and good friends,

A different color in each leaf,

Each with its perfection which gleams,

Amalgamating in the sparkling rain,

Forming a rainbow with the sun in view.

To all my friends, with beautiful souls,

To all my friends who amazed me,

Life would be different and so would me,

Had it been just me and not “we”!

MY VERY FIRST...."step"

Every beginning, every stepping stone towards our goal, has a first day!

I really don’t remember mine, though I remember my brother’s first day at school, he cried so innocently. He looked pretty cute.

I remember my first day at my new school in First grade. I was hesitant, scared, what kind of children I’ll find around me or for that matter befriend? Will others find me interesting?

The same anxiousness en-wrapped me today, the only difference was that that time I was in first grade, and now I’ll be starting off with my Masters!!

Ah! I know it sounds great? Right? I really don’t know.

These years blew like a wind.; one which was some times as hot as loo, at others time as calm as sea breeze, and in few moments of life it felt as if it danced with my happy moments too!

This time in Masters, the only difference was that I did bring along a group of my college friends with me here too. So, in a way, I was not completely lost.

I have already made 3 friends out of a class of 100 people; my friends seem pretty good. Rest only time has to tell how it goes.

Often in life we stumble upon things, which at that moment seem useless, we criticize them, find faults, but not soon enough we realize how close we were to those “very things” that all which comes out from our heart and mouth are words of love and attachment with those very things!

I say this in the context of my College “Jesus and Mary College”, one of “the” most prestigious ones in Delhi University!

I truly miss it. Everything about it. The lawns, which were not less than the ones at Rashtrapati Bhawan, where we used to bask under the sun in winters. The canteen, even though I didn’t had much from there, still. The rocks, a place we used to call “On the Rocks” sit there and get a feel of a hill station. And, my very own “Psychology Department”. The Freshers welcome, department fest, farewell, SPICMACAY festival, College fest, the rooms, and the teachers!! They were simply the best lot I had come across!

I feel bad, that right at the very first day of my “New” College, I started making comparisons, I started judging teachers by the way they spoke, the English they uttered from their mouths, or their ability to answer a student’s question or not! But yes, I acknowledge the fact that I’m at least aware of it! I know and perhaps I may even try making amends to this way of mine. I also know it’s pretty natural. Cognitively, our mind arranges information with the help of “schema” mental images we have of certain concepts; and they help us sort information.

*Sigh* My fingers are crossed, my heart sinks, reflecting on the long way I have already traveled and the future that awaits me to spread my wings! And as I walk near the cliff to open my wings again, I hope the flight I take is worth the effort put in by me!!

DILEMMA

I knew it’s meaning, but never knew how it felt,

Until today, life seemed to tumble down,

The towers I had raised, the dreams of mine,

All seemed broken, shattered on the ground.

A moment of despair, a moment of anger,

Hopelessness, helplessness, both called me in,

And just when I was about to surrender,

Myself to this darkness,

Glimmerings of “Hope” fell upon me!

I looked up with my tired eyes,

Scared heart and my state of misery,

Deep down a battle was on,

Whose side to take, a dilemma for me!

I tried calming myself,

Telling myself “All wasn’t lost”,

I tried thinking rationally,

I found some answers from the past and the present,

Raising me up from this quandary.

Dazed, confused, ready to give up,

This was me,

In a moment the smile vanished,

As I was nonplussed with reality!

In moments such as these,

Where a decision decides your way,

I now learn that initially,

Our mind might a havoc play,

Then try and settle somewhere,

Where the rationale goes,

Boosting us with confidence,

That forever in us lay.

Our heart is too weak,

At times like these,

And mind too strong for itself,

Life throws us into rides of its own,

The twists, the turns, high and low.

And now that I’m through it,

Call me if you need,

I’ll give you hope, share the truth,

And all that you’ll need!

A REASON FOR EVERYTHING…

I want a reason to live, to realize I’m here for a purpose,

I want a reason to understand, why bad things start when good ones end,

I want a reason to be calm, even after the chaos this life offers,

I want a reason to be patient, to understand that things take their time,

I want a reason for distance; for it makes me miss those I love,

I want a reason for tears, as it makes the hurt more painful,

I want a reason for dreams, they are more than what’s unconscious is about,

I want a reason for hesitation, for it makes me unable to express what I want,

I want a reason for pain, coz it makes me lose my strength,

I want a reason for short term happiness; it takes away everything before it comes,

I want a reason for good connectivity, often it doesn’t works when I need the most,

I want a reason for separation, it isn’t too easy as it seems,

I want a reason for blessing; for it takes all the faith one can have,

I want a reason for everything, to lead this life with vigour!!

PS: Keep writing

From the time you began learning “A, B, C…..LMNOP” to now, try pondering how much have you expressed all these years, using words, your thoughts, and a pen and a paper?
Have you ever tried penning down your thoughts so as to get back to them sometime in future? To smile at yourself as you read how silly your thoughts were, your behavior, being so immature, and your innocence so subtle yet, pure?

Well, if the answer to the above questions is “YES”, then good, welcome to the “World of Writing”, and if NO then you are welcomed more so with profound appreciation, for the fact that you took out sometime to read this one!

I wonder if you know how much power do words have. No matter if they are written or spoken, they have the ability to evoke an emotion taking you to great heights, one moment, and tearing your heart apart as tears fall down your cheeks.

It’s only when we read books, fiction, non-fiction or soul stirring stories that we realize the depth of emotions the writer has. His /her ability to make his way with words, juggle them and pen down beautifully in an artistic way that the reader literally jumps, laughs, cries, gets startled, with everything that the protagonist in the book does.

I, as a writer, do not know whether I was born as an expressive girl or not. But writing too has a lot to do with it.

Writing helps one to express one's thoughts on nothing but a piece of paper, all ready to en-wrap you with its warmth, it welcomes you to cry your heart out, to vent out all your pent up feelings, and then it nicely preserves it for “you”. The paper then is at your mercy. Save it or burn it!

Our thoughts have an immense power which gets strengthened when it takes the form of words (written).

Try it for once; see how “YOU” feel. It needn’t be as great as Paulo Coelho or J.K. Rowling. Anyways you don’t expect yourself to reach at that level in your very first piece.
But, for once, in your moments of happiness, despair, grief or sheer serenity, try and pen down your free flowing thoughts to begin with. Make it a daily practice. Then perhaps you will realize how much you feel at ease after expressing yourself by writing!

Writing in its best form allows you to connect with your “inner self”. In the turmoil of our emotions, it acts like a guiding light, helping you understand your feelings , your “own self” , the way no one could have known.

You do not need great vocabulary to write down. Pure, honest words have more weight than words which are complex and ambiguous. And vocab also builds automatically with time, as you read more and more.

So grab a pen and a paper and get down to write and express what YOU and YOUR thoughts are…I'll end with what Mathew Arnold sais and I quote:

" Have something to say, and say it as clearly as you can. That is the only secret of style"

Happy writing!!:)

The “Inception Effect”

“I feel dazed,
Everything seems blurred,
Can you get me out of this please?
Someone there, Help me, please?”

“I’m lost, lost in this labyrinth,
No way out, I’m all by myself,
I, me and my subject,
Is this imagination or a Reality?”

“How could a world exist?
Far beyond my dreams?
A dream within a dream,
False, but truth, it seems!”

“Will you wake me up please?
Never have been so enthralled by my dream,
New images stir up my mind,
Questioning the sole ‘Reality”.


“How could I let you in my mind?
How could I let you reach me?
For there lie deep secrets in the chamber,
The answers unknown, alone would be the key!”

“As my mind gets restless,
You wake me up before I die,
And this time you tell me the truth,
That’s its real, and do not belie”

“For this dream makes me lost,
Takes the “me” away from me,
I feel so disassociated,
I beg you, “Lets find the ‘Real ME’.

“Who is this hypnotist?
Trying his charm on me?
Wait till I see your face,
I’ll smash you down on your knees!”

“But I’m nonplussed with this dream,
For it is more than real to me,
Why, Oh! Why did I sleep?
To raise my hopes, far beyond eternity?

“As I take a deep breath,
To calm my soul within,
My senses all intact,
But deep down its dark within”.

“I fear it is my unconscious,
The gates of which remain closed,
I know you not well to enter,
Turn around, and find your door”.

“You thought you’ll inveigle,
Thinking it might be easy,
I’m far tougher than you,
In there is a deep mystery….”

TO GOOD TO BE TRUE

In times of doubt, in times of reflection,
My mind, moulds images, near perfection,
Making me smile and wishing them to be true,
But mind is mind, our attention it woos,
And just before the midnight sun,
There comes a real one which shines,
Shattering the dream, the one which I owned,
Red and beautiful, like a pristine wine.
How could you be so perfect, the way I dreamt in dreams?
You indeed are a fac simile, to me it seems,
But humans as we are, not perfect, nor can we be,
You seem genuine, yet intimidating,
I hope the latter is just too false to be,
And I wonder why you share the truth,
Pleased, I honestly am, but,
What made you be so genuine to me?
Not knowing who I am?

I hope as the time enfolds its layers,
It will all be for the good,
As I talk to you, my fingers crossed,
With smile lighting up my face,
Gute nacht dear! It’s time to dream,
A world, where things are true, as true as they seem!!

Layers within layers

Things, situations, emotions, feelings, are pretty different, at times, from what they might seem.
A Smile on someone’s face, a tear on someone’s cheek, a politeness in someone’s tone; they all might seem genuine, but the causes might vary.
For the smile be just a facade, a tear might be that reflecting an overwhelming feeling, and the politeness in tone, might be sweet, yet bitter, conveying the sarcasm hidden within.

There lived a girl named “Aura”, who used to create beautiful and colorful aura around her wherever she used to go.
A Smile here and a cheer there. Making friends, impressing others with her ever so warm and genuine nature. One of her good friends would say, that, "She has a Thousand Watt Smile” and then she would smile again.

But behind her ever so affectionate, lovable, loyal, trustworthy, and warm exterior lay a girl who was sensitive, deep to the heart’s core; A girl who could never take any nonsense, whether it was for her or for her friends; A girl, who used to feel sad, gloomy, morose many a times, and that too without any plausible cause or reason.

One of her friends wanted her to share her sad feelings with her, so that she could help Aura just the way Aura always did , but what could she say, what could she share? For she didn’t know why she felt low? Her heart was going through a chaos of emotions, feelings, all mixed up. To her it felt like a barren desert with cold, chilly blizzards blowing away the only reason for “hope” she had,away from her.

Her friends didn’t used to like this dull, sad, cheerless Aura.

Aura thought to herself, “I understand that people and my friends find me cheerful, but what I fail to understand is, that considering the depth and the vastness of human emotions, why can’t I feel low? I do, don’t they understand? And even if they do…” She again got caught up in the world of her feelings.

Her thought process continued “ …Life always tries to strike an equilibrium, if not this way, then some other. Surely, if happiness would be here to stay, we would take that for granted too, and how would one learn from one’s lessons, if there was no despair, no moments of hopelessness and worthlessness in our life?”

She felt a bit at ease, as answers began to welcome her in the enigma of her questions.

“Likewise, my friends, some, in particular need to understand that sometimes, my heart “simply” feels low, perhaps it gets bored of being happy all the time, or may be the brain suddenly feels like releasing other neurotransmitters, which thereby affect me so drastically that I automatically start feeling low. Hmm…well whatever the case, or the reason behind it, there are times, when I simply do not know why do I feel low?”
As her heart looked above at the starry sky, and her feelings took a rest near the shore of her heart, she said:

“My dear lovely friends, the best ones I found
I might create an “aura” whenever I’m around,

One which encompasses all glee and cheer,
The sadness, mostly hidden, at times which re- appears,

The reasons I may not know,
The reasons I may not share,

I wish to be by myself,
But do appreciate your care,

For sometimes, the island of my heart,
Wishes to enjoy the waves,

The high and the low tides,
In the dark, deep caves,

And when the storm bids adieu,
I open my eyes, as I awake,

Birds singing songs of hope,
And sun showing me my way,

Then you might be welcomed,
Then you might celebrate,

For the aura you had waited this long,
Is bright and beautiful, for its own sake!!

Magic Re- created

How do I tell you that I miss you?
Miss you even before I got to know you,

How do I share all the things I wish to?
The ones I thought I would share,

How do I express myself, the way I usually do?
‘Coz we don’t talk that often,

How do I know, it was just for courtesy?
The friendship which was extended,

How do I say, what I really want to?
For things may turn from good to worse,

And how do I let you know?
I thought it would last, but I never showed,

All I’ll treasure are the moments spent,
The ones, sweet and naughty,

And if we don’t talk in future again,
I might regret, but will surely smile,

For the days I talked,
Were the most beautiful ones,
Bringing out my true creativity,

And here I am thanking you,
For coming in my life, for a few moments,

The magic, the wonder that enclosed me,
Was far beyond my reach,

The magician came and left it there,
Leaving my life, spellbound,

He gave me a chant, to smile and to cheer,
Every time I had his thought!!

ART that defines us ..

Articulation. Revelation. Therapeutic. What if I elaborate ART by these simple, yet deep words?
Photography, painting, sketching, drawing, theater, writing, poetry, playing music, singing with the notes, or dancing with them, all are wonderful and exquisite forms of art, as we all know.
Ever noticed the single common thread that bonds all of them? I did. It’s the heart, the way it feels when one indulges in these forms of heart. The brain, which produces alpha waves, immensely gratifying, similar to what a yogi might experience when he sits with his eyes closed lost in his world of God!
Not long before, I read a beautiful piece titled “Writing- a form of meditation”. It was indeed a pleasure reading that one. Firstly, because writing is close to my heart, secondly it answered all my questions which I had in mind about meditation. Then I realized how good I feel after finishing every article or a poem on a blank page, waiting for me to pour my feelings onto it with poise!

Passion to write

I hardly remember learning the alphabets in nursery.All I recall is learning, rather singing ABC along with others.

I had never thought how words would become an integral part of my life, so much so , that every feeling felt, every emotion expressed, that of sorrow or filled with glee, that of sheer pain, or of ecstasy, would be hand carved by nothing but WORDS.
Over these years, with every piece I wrote, an article or a poem, my love and appreciation for this form of art has increased and matured, just like a tiny seed takes years to take a shape of a full grown tree.
And here in my very first blog, I offer my gratitude of my 8 years of writing to "WORDS", the soul reason I m here!! May there be many more years to write and to express.....

IN LOVE WITH WORDS

Right from the time I first saw you,
To now, this moment, which is so true,
Who knew I would attach this way to you?
In my moments of aloofness, happiness or bidding adieu?
We have come a long way indeed,
And my love for you shall forever be a need,
You know my heart, more than I do,
You know when I cry, before my tears do,
You know my smiles, just when my lips say,
You know me all, through some or the other way,
Not having you, is like a barren land,
With nature in sight, yet the air not to breathe,
With a life to call, yet lifeless from beneath,
You are my language, you are my soul,
You are the thread, that connects me to my "inner role",
You complete me the way no one can do,
The way "we" two connect, not many, neither do some few,
My gratitude to you, I offer in my prayers,
My thoughts belong to you, which you forever wear,
I' m an open book to you, my life I duly share,
And God up there, knows this too well,
It’s to whom I many a times address,
Until, it was "you", a pearl in the beautiful shell,
My compassion, my desire,
My lust, my need,
You know how "you" mean this world,
And help me know its meaning,
Had I not met you,
Life would be not easy to express,
With its share of dealings,
And today I'm proud enough to have,
Fallen in love with "you",
Oh! dear I loved you all this time,
Didn't know, until a seconds few!!