Letters from My Love (I)

I loved her from the bottom  of my heart but I wondered why did I never said  that to her. Even as she surreptitiously left notes hidden in my many cargo boxes which had stories of us, moments spent together smiling, laughing and in love together, I wondered why couldn't this heart of mine gather the courage to simply let her know what she was to me.

Weeks before I was to leave the country she would come by at my place to help me with the shopping and packing. Even as I told her that I could do it on my own, she caressing my cheek told me " Sweetheart, this is one thing I would like to do together" and as always it was hard for me to say her a no.

Today when I read this letter #4 ( which I found in my box of jackets) I was simply amazed to find that the depth of her love for me was infinite. If there could ever be a space, a space so huge which was vast yet full, this was the one. Her love for writing went beyond words. She was a creative writer par excellence. Her forte was expressing the deepest of the emotions in the simplest of the words. She knew what weight words had in them. Here, she tells me that she remembers the walk we had in that national park the other day. It was raining and we had no umbrella.  


                         
As I ran along with her, holding her fragile hands in mine, the wetness kissed our bodies bringing the two together. Like a kid she left my hand and ran for the clouds which blessed her with a million drops of love. I stood there under the shelter marvelling at the way she played, a peacock dancing with glee, was she. And just as I was losing myself in her, she ran to me, took me by my hand and swung me around in that rain that was now ours to be called.

" You may  think I don't remember the way you looked at me dear, for I saw your love in your eyes, in your hands and that brief touch of yours on my waist which felt like a moment lived in eternity in your presence. That day and many more just whispered into my heart that expression of love which you always, maybe, ran away from.

Today as you unpack the boxes of luggage and love, of clothes folded and books read, I gift you my heart which I long back lost....

To you.

And on days you wished me your sweet good night, I wrapped that message around me, feeling you.

Love

Ishqaa"

Sigh.... Never did I ever imagine that a girl would fall for me to such great heights and depths. If words were bridges between two countries separated by miles of oceans, then she sure was a great builder of them.

Letters are not easy to write for you got to think what to write. She just sang her heart out so effortlessly. That ease of being what she was, that extra- ordinary her, was a part of her.

Hey Ishqaa, it may take me a while to fathom the fact that two people can indeed live for no one but each other. At moments I don't feel I'm alive because the happiness of yours when merged with mine is all so ecstatic and divine. As I open my eyes and close them again to test this reality I'm surprised when it says yes.

A while is all I ask for. A while....

P.S. Would love to hear what you have to say on this. A series I'm writing for the first time. It's been a while....