Even trial and error method after a time leads to some certainty in understanding that this is good and this is not good for me. And what happens when you step you foot into a different world altogether? A world where you become a part, but inside alone you know trivial things begin to bother you; a place which feeds everyone’s narcissicism to the extent that lost in the need for ‘social validation’ a person forgets that his/ her own opinion is something that matters the most. Well, this was a small note on the world’s most famous social networking website.
You know something is certainly wrong with you when your normal voice starts sounding low. And what happens when the stars speak to you as well? When the weekly horoscope is written ‘just’ for you even as there are many in the city who have the same horoscope? Such co- incidences happen, why you don’t know. But the just happen.
People say it’s a phase of life and shall pass. I also wonder if they know what being in living each moment in that ‘phase’ means. You hate yourself for not putting yourself to use. It’s like with every second gone your value is depreciating and all you are becoming is rotten like a vegetable that hates itself more than anyone else will.
Surely being rotten is not a good state. You die every moment. And as this happens even the most optimistic of the quotes are seen as if you cannot read them. Or if the Wernicke’s area in the brain does help you to comprehend the glimmer of hope dies even before it rises..
Someone once said to me that she baked cakes only when she was happy. This was not to say that she wasn’t happy at other times, this just meant that happiness in that moment of baking was a ‘recognisable happiness’, perhaps one which came from her heart.
Also as I remember that happiness can be lived, I also recognise that at times you just want to collapse as much as you hate seeing your self in that position. And then my stars say all I need is patience. An ideal mind is a crappy place to be. totally crappy!