Thursday, April 7, 2011

Have you ever stayed alone?

Often we end up talking about the difference between being 'alone' and being 'lonely'. I think the important aspect in both forms of existing is 'being'. Existential, it might seem. But I do feel that somewhere 'being in that moment' helps us learn better about what life is, what 'people' are and if nothing else it can help us get closer to what 'we' feel!

Yes I've been alone, off late. I've felt lonely as well. Interesting? isn't it ? Being alone and lonely at the same time. Let me create a visual image: It is like you are sitting in a group of people, you are 'a part' of yet 'apart' from that group.(Wow!no wonder I don't play anymore, but words do help me play along).

The state of being alone and lonely at the same time is an experiential state, that which can perhaps be understood best when you 'experience your-self'. So, one is alone in a way, that one wishes to go mute, to be silent, neither listen nor hear what the people around you are speaking, yet there is this yearning for someone to be close to you, to come to you, to care for you, and if nothing else perhaps talk to you? This is wherein 'being lonely' comes in.

In relation to the title of this post, it struck me why
solitary confinement is worse than being confined with someone,  no matter what kind of a person that 'someone' is! Life surely becomes one big hell! Is that the reason why many people fear being alone? Having no one to talk to? Perhaps, among various factors.

An old friend of mine told me that in his college life of 4 years, he had no friends till his 3rd year. I instantly asked "how did he manage?" And though he told me that he got used to it, and it didn't matter much, I wasn't convinced.
We need someone at the end of the day to talk to, but that is 'at the end of the day'., what about 'during- the- day?' what if we don't have anyone to talk to? Life is the perhaps the toughest book to understand. Leave Marx, Parmenides, Descartes, we all are reading and 'living' one alive book called 'life'. Ever tried translating it and making sense of it? I have, time and again tried my hand on it, and its hard to point out where I gained and where I lost!
I wonder if there is any flow in the chapters as well. It is like two timelines running simultaneously, one chronologically and the other all inter-weaved like the 'dynamic' unconscious.  

Will say more on being alone some other time...when I feel alone....
Gute Nacht

PS: I'm good:)


Nikhil Nanal said...

lonely is understandable from this post of yours but I ccouldn't quite get what u meant by alone... as far I believe lonely is a helpless condition where we seek... being alone could be a matter of choice or situation but isn't as emotionally challenging as being lonely is...

Aakriti said...

hey thanks for reading and commenting. Well..surely u do understand the difference very well!:) being alone perhaps is considered more positive than being lonely. I'm not sure if positive is the right word though. i'll quote what I wrote "Let me create a visual image: It is like you are sitting in a group of people, you are 'a part' of yet 'apart' from that group"...the fusion I have created between being alone and being lonely is so enmeshed that it is hard to separate the two! Yet I mention being alone in this post as when you are comfortable being there 'all by yourself' and this I fuse with emotions of loss which I explain with being lonely...!! hope u get it now:)

shruti said...

how is "alone and lonely" related to falling in love???

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