The Trench that was

There’s so much chaos out there. Just one step across the line and you here the noises drown you. They pull you, entrap you in a trench where there shall be two worlds, one that goes inside you, and the other where the body shall reside inside that trench. Two world at one space, what shall you do when you get trapped? Shout out for help, scream for only rescuing you was an option?

She cried day after day until her tear glands could be at peace. The agony felt like a million blades pierce through her conscience that which they called the ‘Super’ Ego. What about the pleasures? An image of licking that ice lolly as a kid came across her mind. That very ice lolly which was now looked down upon for it was not ‘branded’! But it caused her no harm and only offered a pinkish tongue and a hundred giggles every time she would buy and lick it. The taste of happiness, oh so transient, yet the images of these memories stay. Why , you ask? For  in there lay a purity and truth so profound that no riches could buy it!

The noise in the trench was silenced. She wondered if the world would ever realize her absence, for she was just one freckle amidst the innumerable ones that came and went by from this planet called earth. Did her existence made any difference in the lives of others? Existence- ia-lism. Its surprising how distance doesn’t matters when you love the person who is miles away from you, that someone special whom you haven’t met , yet the soul feels as if you have, in that one era, which remains felt but not seen.

This trail of thought is often termed ‘derailed’ thinking style in the realm of the psychiatry world. Yet its funny how the thoughts have a zillion threads, they may seem distinct, but a chain is what weaves them together. Perhaps trenches are a good place to be in. In a world where people are running, pacing, cracking their heads to earn riches, not knowing the value of their “being” morphing their life into a futile, hollow story, perhaps it’s a trench which puts the perspectives back into life, just like how a drip gets injected when something sucks the life out of you, only to offer a live back to the life.

That trench stays empty now; remote in that part of the world that has been accepted. The soil there continues to be wet for the downpour of the heart left a few greens to blossom. The hole in there is where the sparkling rays play hide and seek with those buds waiting to grow and reach out. The buds miss her but only for good. The trench is not an enclosure. Not a trap. Away from the world, some spaces seek acknowledgment, in pain, in confusion because the quieter we are, the more patient and open we are in our sadnesses, the more deeply and serenely the new presence can enter us, and the more we can make it our own, the more it becomes fate.

P.S: The words in colour are by Rainer Maria Rilke.

Soak me in...

Soak me in …..

We have all had moments when masochistically we have called for and invited Pain with grace into our lives. Almost like it was a celebration of sorts amidst glasses full of tears, snacks full of sorrows and music that was nothing but melancholic and we danced along in our blissful tranquil state only to soak our self into the depths of this ocean called life.

‎ 

"Nothingness, a feeling I've derived very recently. Sometimes it comes alone, weeping out solitude, bringing with it a shudder. This nothingness is different, it has satisfaction. It has a tinge of completion in it, like it has resulted from the finish of a greater good."*

As I hear her say these words I sense how alike we are, or may be all of us in that matter, or may be not ALL. For some tears just come and disappear not letting even the person know of their existence. For some they come and they are called for, waiting to be embraced in the dark pools of eyes; eyes which are alive and sparkly, but have their own emptiness and dark moments.

But you know what the truth is? Not ‘the truth’ just the truth? These dark solemn days, where smile goes into a hiding, where it replaces itself not by a twinkly glittery smile that reaches your eyes, but a smile that just comes questioning its own presence on your plastic face; these days come with a purpose. For how, just think, how in the world can the mind forever be in a happy state??? And yes after another friend’s** thoughts on striving for contentment than happiness were read by me, I felt at peace.

This dark, empty- yet- full nothingness has been experienced. It’s close to me and to thee. Like a drug which excites you, so does this nothingness- but in a more charming way. You got to feel it to understand it. And yes, just as it fills you, it escapes too, but never to travel far off, for when in life, the happy, the so called “superficial happy”, states take too much precedence in your life, it is then that it’s time for another celebration, for another moment of……..

Completion.

*These words were shared by Crystal in  this blog post.

** It was Twisha’s this one post from where I understood that it’s contentment we should strive for, than happiness……

Gratsi to you two <3

PS: For those of you who like viewing pictures of great photographers, check out Nikhil Joseph Photography at FB. His pictures are breath taking:)

PPS: I realize that this post comes soon after the reading dozes of melancholy which have been given by Pevee and Crystal. But yes, thoughts lead to thoughts...and that's why I call it "Yarn of ~ Words" :)