I’M OVER IT!!
It just occurred to me few seconds back that when people break up from any kind of relationship and say “I’m over him/ her or that relationship” it isn’t really true. In short: They might not only be lying to you, but at a far greater level are cheating themselves from the ‘truth’. In psychoanalysis either the person would be using the defense mechanism of denial or repression (trying to unconsciously forget something that is unpleasant).
So the question goes: Why do they even utter “over it”?? Well, social desirability factor, at least this is what I think of. For instance there is this close friend of mine who hasn’t got over, even after some 3 years from a relationship that was humiliating, frustrating and disrespectful in many a ways, and all this is ‘according to ME’. A sad thing- Maybe after seeing my irritation, frustration over she crying for endless months over that bastard, perhaps she thought that the best thing was not to ‘share the truth’ with me anymore. So well, I was in an impression that she had moved on, until recently after months, when she felt depressed, all she thought was to call that sicko, in her vulnerable state that of course I warned her NOT to!
A plenty of things emerge from the above lines:
1. I’ll share with u someday an article on “How love can be maddening”..wrote it long time back.
2. When people say that they have moved on, chances are that most likely they HAVEN’T, and what they are uttering is PLAIN LIE!
3. Cumon? You can’t blame them as well. Can you? When you have been in a relationship where you felt that you had ‘apparently’ got everything you ever wanted, may be many moments-of-lived- fantasy, and then when the crystal ball breaks, surely it’ll hurt. Result: You are in a DENIAL, or at best live with the memories of the past and cry over them for months or maybe years to come.
But you know, like I always believe, things happen for a reason, and the very reasons then become lessons of our life, from which we get to learn.
There is this secret behind which I wrote this post, and I would let it be a secret. For all I know is that relationships are beautiful flowers which take their own time growing from a seed, to a plant, then taking a shape of a bud, blooming one fine day into a pretty flower whose fragrance only the outer world can define. And like all flowers do leave the plant and fall down, only for allowing the new ones to grow, perhaps relationships too are like seeds of new people waiting to be sowed…
If you wish to share anything related to this post, a song, a moment you recall of your past relationship, or any interesting incident, I would love to hear……J