My watched steps

No matter how I wish to express,

The way I always do,

I see others respond to what you say and do,

I wish to say what I feel,

Words from my heart to you,

But something stops me,

I don’t know what it is, nor do I have a clue!

The space which you give me, when around,

Seems all closed when others surround,

Apprehension, inhibition force me to back out,

And I’m left feeling helpless,

I say what I don’t wish to!

How absurd this society is,

Making us do what we had never wished to,

Caught in the webs of relations and obligations,

We hate those who love us,

And whom we hate we tend to woo!

As I watch my steps,

Unaware who they listen to,

Me, my inner voice or the society?

The latter we made ourselves,

Not to lead, but to follow!

If ever I feel reticent,

And you sense the awkwardness in me,

When the ‘world’ is gone, and alone we stand,

Freely ask what I had to say,

And in my eyes you had seen,

Perhaps then I may not recall,

If I was frustrated, anxious or angry,

Just give me a hug filled with sweet warmth,

And let me erase all memories!