Off you go

: A friend of mine who seems to be going away to follow her dreams, a part of me is aware, yet another part refuses to accept it, for that part feels sad that her friend is leaving her ( though not for long) but for some time still!!

It seems you are going far away,

Leaving me here alone,

It seems you are leaving all that you had,

Leaving others to wait until you return,

It seems you’ve forgotten all that we shared,

Perhaps that is why you are going,

And well, I won’t consider other things,

Coz my heart knows but dislikes thinking!

You are going where you alone do know,

Where the path will take you,

Sigh, that a part of me knows the truth,

But yet won’t believe what’s true.

And like those days of separation,

Where we both did try to cope,

And tears would drop, and fall,

Like on a rough patch, petals of rose.

It seems you are going far away,

Some time, before I’ll see you,

Meet you, as I often did,

One means I had, that’s no more new,

It seems more important things,

Are now there in your purview,

Oh! Don’t temme I understand,

Nothing will change, if I say “I do”!

Season of love

New Year, New Jan, New Feb, New love…oops!! Or maybe old, but a chance to enliven all the lovely memories you spent with your “the one”. The first date, the first “touch”:P (umm…I’m finding it soo cheesy even to write:P) , the first everything( sorry I just can’t go on with it) and then suddenly Boom!!

Oh..it’s not a blast of sorts, it is just that the precious one day of February kind of makes the “reality” sink in the boyfriend’s head that he got to spend a good amount of his money on his darling girlfriend!!

Well, the matters get different, if the girl does understand, and is not of materialistic types, who’ll judge the guy by the expensive gifts he buys for her. But well, still, he just cannot do away with NOT buying anything, because ‘some’ expectations are always there.

I just don’t understand this whole point of celebrating a week of love before the 14th of Feb. Why? It wasn’t that girls didn’t or never ate chocolates before that never saw flowers or teddies or got hugs before those days?? All I can think of is that it only adds a “material” element to something as pure as love.

In fact I completely agree that this Valentine’s Day is just soooooo over-rated and over-hyped. All it has become of now is a money- making event. Well for that matter all other days too. But this one just gets too much.

And well, who said this day was only for the romantic couples? Being a single, or maybe just another person on this earth, I think it includes everyone whom we love. Studying Psychoanalysis, I’m wondering if my unconscious is at present using a defense mechanism to make myself feel better:P..Well..if it is…then good, and even if not, as if I care?

Sigh……why do we have this day? Not that we had had enough of velle wannabes hanging around checking out their potential wannabes! And now this day! What makes it worse are the radio stations which start playing luuuurv songs and like a politician start declaring that the “V-DAY” is here ( only difference that for politicians it’s the voting day;). You get so tired of the songs, it makes you feel bad:(…and…sad…:(

If you have someone special in life, then have a “luuuurv-ly” day, and if you are single then well pamper yourself, tell those closed to you how much you love them, and yes like I did last year, make personalized stuff for them!!

Ok …CiaoJ

PS: if you detest PDA like I do, kripya ghar ke andar rahein, bahaar khule aam bahut si bekar harkatein ho rahi hoti hain!! unless you wanna watch a free show;)

Hey you there...;)

This is my first ever attempt to write a song. And while I have no clue of the part and the rules one keeps in mind to write one, all I know is that it’s a fun song, a song which goes out to the guys out there from a girl, who is looking for her soul mate. She is no princess, she is no queen. She is an ordinary girl, with her beautiful fantastic dreams. She wants a guy who loves her with everything pure, a guy whom she just wishes to live with, a guy who is fun, yet mature!!

Hey you there,

Yes, you, I’ m talking to,

It might be sad, but,

I’m not like the other girls,

Men usually woo,

It’ll be hard to know me through,

Coz well, to find a diamond, you got work to do!

Hey you there,

Yes, you whom I’m eying at,

I thought, you’ll get the signs,

But at directions, you seem bad,

Don’t worry; it’s a lot more than that,

A bit history, biology and some chemistry pracs,

Learn some, do some, and just get the right facts!

Girls aren’t all the same,

I’m sure you know it all,

Some just choose to be different,

Not fitting in a clichéd set of balls,

And well, the one who hits the shot,

Indeed wins a jackpot,

The pleasure of a good win, in which he is caught!

Hey you there,

You got brains to use,

Looks, and softness and something to amuse

While luck is not all that you need,

Buck up yourself, no, not for the greed,

A moment of magic, and life worth to live,

With a girl of your dreams, a life so splendid!

The want to be with my ‘self’

It dawned on me today, how it feels when no one is around you. You feel low for certain reasons, but the reasons do not oblige you by giving the answers you have been looking for. You feel as if there is this vacuum in and around you, and all that you can make sense out of it comes in the form of conversations which appear fake, which do not touch you the way you thought they would.

Being comfortable with silence is the most hard thing to do, for it requires understanding and respecting oneself, which often we do not do. My best friend told me that after being hurt by almost everyone in her college, a time came in her life, when she stopped bothering about people and things. So to cheer up her low moods and herself, she would go alone, indulge in some retail therapy or simply go to Mc Donalds and have a burger all by herself!! Yes ‘alone’! I was shocked and amazed at her boldness.

I thought of doing this today, since I had no one to give me company or talk to, but during that process, I realized that it requires a lot of courage to do that. That which my friend somehow gathered, that which time taught her to do!

One valuable thing which I’ll remember forever, which she shared with me is that ‘make yourself so comfortable and so sufficient that you need no one to make you happy, not even me, so, if, a day comes when you need someone you yourself are capable enough to bring a smile on your face’. Such lessons take time to learn, and I’m still in the process of learning them. I believe that someday I can reach this position.

My thoughts lead me to a question, that why is it so difficult for us to be with ‘ourselves’? Why do we need music, tv, movies, for that matter talks with people or friends to fill that space? We deliberately indulge in all such things (a defense mechanism) to escape that even one single moment of silence which gets created when we are with ourselves. And that is supposed to be enjoyed and cherished.

Some people make it so hard for themselves that even in their sleep, thoughts and worries about their relations with others etc. haunts them, hence, leaving them with no peace at all.

The calmness, the patience with which my grandparents nurtured me, is hardly to be seen in these days. With a fast paced life, we all have become habitual enough, to continuously speak, act or work in ways, which does not leave a moment of reflection or thought. I think, that is where it becomes hard to retrospect, to peep inside our own selves.

Fortunately, I’m glad that I’m in touch with my ‘inner’ being, my emotions which for long time have perplexed me and perhaps will continue to do so in future too. I’m glad, that I have the ability to express myself, to tell the world that this is what it is. And though like many others, I’m not perfect either, yet the space to be with my ‘self’ is enriching.

PS: I also realized that nothing can be safer and comfortable than our own home. Home is where the heart is, home is where we live, home is where we may not be at our best, and perhaps that is why it is the best!! Think of this home as your ‘inner self’ where you are not at your best, yet it is all accepting!

With this thought I bid adieu!!

VOID

The vacuum inside me,

I feel so blank and ignored,

The life around me,

Moves fast, a long way to go.

The love that calls me,

Is pure, romantic, but empty,

A voice that beckons me,

A happy transient fantasy.

I’ll go back in an era,

Or a cave of sheer darkness,

That which enlivens my spirit,

My soul, my spirit, my identity.

And if you ever wonder,

Or perhaps, out of care, concern,

Let me be in that space of mine,

Where silence speaks than be taciturn.