Wednesday, November 16, 2011

Moments (II)

Dear Vanilla people:) After a period of almost two months, I'm continuing and sharing with you my story, with much apprehension from here. Do get back to the link in case you don't recall where I left.....:)

Her pretty small eyes opened wide as his reply made her heart skip a beat, and then she just brushed away her thoughts, like she would gently do to her hair, but it was not all that same, this time.
She shouted “Hey where are you going?”
“See you at 1 near the café, good day!”

On the Bench. In the mind.
As he threw his bundle of thoughts on the green grass, he tried catching a breath, for it took him a while to find a nice big tree, to handle his weight, in the green lawns.
He chuckled to himself, and then came a soft laugh. And then he laughed thinking how mad he had just been leaving her in the middle of a conversation, only being stupid to run as if he had a train to catch.
Amidst this laughter filled moment, it dawned on him what he had said to her, “I’d rather get lost with you”.
No, these are not my words” he thought.
Sure, they are” said another voice in his head.
You gotta be kidding me? That isn’t true” he thought.
And what makes you feel that those words were not indubitable?” said the voice.
  And to this he had no answer.
He looked at the flowers in the garden, to see if they had an answer. He then searched the wide blue sky where birds were flying, lost in their own chores of the day. He even looked at the grass, only to see big ants busy gathering food for the winters, but no one was free enough to answer the question he himself had no answer for.

PS: As much as I appreciate positive criticism on the story, it at the same time makes me nervous specially coz being a 'thoughtful' person, dialogues don't come very easily to me:|.....I'll appreciate if you bear my slow progress in writing stories...:)



Cяystal said...

Life can be complicated, but the beauty is in finding the simplicity in the complexities!
I liked this. Immensely!

Aakriti said...

Hey Crysty:) I'm glad u liked it..getting a nice comment from u makes me feel that a great author acknowledged my effort:)..
PS: Srry for late rply

love~ Aakriti

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