“Every new relation modifies a substance to a greater or lesser extent”
(exponent of dvaita school of Vedanta)
It’s been a while since I have been thinking of writing on ‘relations’ and ‘relationships’, and perhaps the time is right.
As I was taking a walk few moments ago, I was trying to call my close friends, and no one, ‘NO ONE’ picked up. Sure, as we grow, life gets really busy, but somehow and dunno how I always manage to keep in touch with people I wish to. And this ‘quality’ of mine, pointed out by a friend, is actually making me feel frustrated.
Why do I care to keep in touch? Why do I care to text them or call them? It’s not that I’m all ideal and have no work to do. And because of precisely this habit of mine, I felt as if all my friends were dead to me. As if I had no one to talk to; not even my ‘besties’.
I’m tired of keeping in touch. I’m tired of making people feel special every now and then by what I do for them. It’s not just my job to let them know that I miss them and wish to talk to them. Sure it’s not. And if they don’t call me, does that in any way means that they don’t think of me?
Few days back I got a call from a school friend who told me that she had been thinking of calling me and wanted to meet me. I genuinely felt good and thanked her. You know what response I got to this? She thought I was being sarcastic; and then I had to tell her that I was ‘really’ thankful for her sweet gesture.
I’m just wondering where do I take this habit or perhaps gesture of mine to? Does this mean I always want people to be near? Or that I can’t imagine being alone? Sure…I cannot and apparently I did go through a small phase of ‘weirdness’ when I found no one to talk to as my Masters started few months back.
But it’s not that I wish to talk to any damn person. In fact of late all I wish to do is retreat into my shell, for I don’t wish to make any new friends, or share with them ‘Who Aakriti is all about’ coz unlike me people don’t seem to value friendships. They talk, they share, they become a part of my ‘friend circle and life’ only for a while….and then…silence.
PS: I'm tired of being modified by the relations which have come my way...is that what one gets as one embraces people with kindness??
don't change yourself for others even for relationships :) hru?
I agree with Rachit. If you are this way, that's gonna help you and no one else really. Stay the same :)
Love, Risha :)
@ Rachit: Hiee...m doing fine. Well..life keeps pulling us down through some ways or the other..but we gotta move on..ryt?:)
Hey Risha!!!!hiee..nice to have u here again..always a pleasure..well..m not changing myself for anyone.don't u worry:D....
and thnks a lot:)
I too do the same aakriti, I have been so engrossed in the process of making people happy, that its almost killing me now. I lost my best friend (and it is the biggest loss of my life till date), tried a lot to hold on, make her feel good about us, but once I stopped trying, we broke apart.
Nonetheless, you, me and others like us are really NICE people ;) trust me
Let's not give a shit to the morons now :)
change is a good thing when you change for yourself...bad thing when you change for others...it hurts...
@Ayushi:heya!!lovely to hear from u:)well all i knw is dat in every relarlnship der comes a point wen u knw if its all worth giving or not..and if those frnds really value us..they will.come bck cone wt may..
Hieee Sub:) i agree wt u are saying.thnks for cumin by:) i have changws for the good.isnt it wonderful wen.ppl.bring the good in u and den leavea only making us miss dem even more??its sadly beautiful ...
Ok, So, I am new on this blog...and here is my two pence, for what it is worth.
Everyone will be busy. Even our best friends at some time or the other. But, if we know inside, they are dear to us, they value us and vice-versa, then it is such a comfort to know that they are just there. Sometimes, priorities change, calls are not picked, but when friends do talk, honesty in their voice is not that hard to recognize. :)
Just be yourself. Be happy. (Easier said than done..I agree) :)
@ Kunnu ( Kunal): Hi!! A very warm welcome on my blog:)thnks for stopping by!the thought u just shared is indeed beautiful and true as well. And I very well understand that.But I'm sure u'l also understand the sentiment that went behind writing this post..would love to have u here again:) Aakriti
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