The sun outside is up and about. It's up yet it takes time to get up from the blanket of clouds, much like I do. Staying warm inside with the memories of your bone breaking hugs and kisses is a priority this morning. If I release myself from this blanket of clouds, the sky shall feel at a loss and this heart won't get its due for the longing it always had.
The past for now recedes in its own time like the drawings we did on the wet sand, waiting to be erased by the waves when they felt ready to be taken. A peep inside the ocean that I'm and that we were brings along its share of treasures. I found some wonderful jewellery of letters kept along with the gemstones of pictures. besides that lay a box which was empty to hold but full of fragrances -of waiting, longing, caressing, encouraging and all those which rose everyday in love.
My hands drew away from those blessed treasures to a world that was much distant from yours and mine. Sometimes decisions in themselves carry an indecisiveness that they long to be freed from. I was waiting for my freedom, the one I mistook for being away from you, until the cells of my heart brought an earthquake of an infinite Richter scale. I had no ground to settle on as the one I had lived had crumpled. The one that I had begun to reside was soft and unreliable. I was shaken by own pieces that had been built ever since I came to this world. When the very parts which make you also break you, the existence for the first time feels real to be carried and questioned. That’s what I did.
If silences could weigh for their depths and profundity, then, mine were the heaviest I had ever carried. The rivers that flowed from the eyes spoke of moments so effervescent and fruity. The dams decided to break down one day, for the love in my veins could no longer stay as a refugee. It knew where it belonged...
I read somewhere "You can always go back to your soul mate" and I did. My apologies to you for the mistakes I never did. They led me to a home where I had left my soul behind
ah ha .. and they say home is SWEET HOME ...
forgiving is the hardest and asking for forgiveness is more harder
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