|Every time I read something on ‘Forgiveness’ my heart and my mind come into conflict.|
Heart (H): I know I’m all about emotions, but let me use my capacity to reason this time..Tell me Mind, how can one let go off the feelings and the emotions that were hurt? That which caused immense pain?
Mind (M): Dear Heart, I completely understand your point of view, and yes, I do think there is a reason why you ask me. You know H, this me (Mind), Body, the Soul, and you (the Heart) we all are interconnected in ways hard to separate.
Our threads, our bonds are way too strong, and perhaps that is why these beautiful humans often end up falling in quandaries, so perplexed that they feel there is no way out.
But well, there is a way out…
I’m sure for you your feelings mean a lot and naturally so. The trust, the love and your giving attitude can in no way be returned by the other person who broke your heart and took you for granted. But have you ever wondered what all went through the other person’s ‘mind’? What all threads entangled him/her to act the way he/ she did?
You know Heart, I myself, am at a loss of words dear..What do I say, for this “Id” in me is the culprit? All it thinks about is itself. And this is what lay people call as the “Ego” ( Ahankar). I myself get caught in these moments, when all my Id does is think for itself, for its ‘own’ needs, not thinking of what the other might be going through.
Heart: All that heard M, I’ll be as honest as possible with you. There were moments when I I was hurt. Time and again, I tried to gather myself, forgive my friend who hurt me, but to no avail. I wondered what led my friend to be so distant to me that he would not even reply, or for that matter, was it all my fault that my another friend told me my weakness, scolded me and just went off?
There was also a time when I thought I had the ability to forgive and forget, but it was not long before that I realized that I might have forgiven but not forgotten. For how could I M? How could I? I had so many questions to ask from that friend, for not responding, for being the way he was, that I just couldn’t let it go away? You know what, I still wish if we could have been good friends……Sigh…But we talk no more. It’s been years.
(Mind: Patted the back of Heart, and held her hand)
But I’m glad M, that I was able to overcome few things with respect to another friend. Perhaps people are good from heart, but it’s the complexities that make simple sweet things bitter for them…Is it?
Mind: Heart, you are so beautiful you know, lovely, pretty lady I tell you. Well…these thoughts don’t let me rest dear. They roam around in every possible direction. And to control them these people need to hear to the sound of their bodies. For only if they do so, can I be relieved.
Heart: To tell you the truth, I have felt at peace when I have actually forgiven people. It’s a blissful moment Mind! So, what I think is, that no wonder that we understand there is no point in holding grudges, but well our feelings are ‘our feelings’ …they are like our kids, if they get hurt, we’ll get hurt too….and perhaps it is in those sensitive moments, forgiveness could be the key to all locked beautiful emotions and thoughts.
The Mind looked at Heart who had a glimmer in her eyes, and as he looked at her…they both smiled.
Heart forgives , and mind remembers (he cannot forget),..body acts exactly as mind has not forgotten the past, BUT (the magic) here comes thy SOUL.....
its a play within, mesmerising, thrilling and "at time" ....
SOUL,...as tender as always,...and the force of being human,...we do it again... :)
there is no end to this fight repeating mistakes as we are born to,.. at times,...and let me say mostly precautions do not seems to be working,.its a chemistry within which flows the current and we end up with all smiles again and again...
It feels so familiar, so correct. I've felt all this, in my case, the heart dominates so strongly, that I remain the perpetual sufferer. Thanks Aakriti di! Its like showing me a mirror I much needed to. Love...
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