When your dreams come true

 I can see a pattern right in front of my mind’s eye, that of eternal suffering. We humans crave, cry, bang our heads, plead to God for our dreams to come true, for our wishes to be made real, as if there was nothing more that could mean the world to us. God sees us in pain, more pain and when the going gets too tough, sometimes, he says “Wish granted!”  

The wish comes by, elates us for a few seconds, minutes, days, perhaps a few months, after which like any other thing, becomes ordinary and boring. It loses its charm because we have it now. Isn’t it? 

For a moment, observe all the things, situations you wanted to be in, people you wanted to be a part of your life badly. Reflect on what you went through to plead to God to have them and later ending up with your wish granted. What happened next? Are you still ‘greatful’ for that? Or it has lost its shine and lustre? 

The truth is, it is still the same, but your feelings toward it or the way you look at it or the person now has changed. I often go back to my words which I had written years ago, when I was in pain, wanting someone so bad in my life. These words are my sounding board, they help me to be grounded. They help me to be grateful for what I have now. It is not that I’m not greatful, on the contrary I feel blessed everyday for what I have. Yet, life and our way of living a ‘doing’ life often rips us from the very blessings that stands in front of us. 

In a world where we are living today, it is , indeed saddening that people have forgotten the difference between people and things. Today, things are treated more precious than people and people are thrown around like used objects, waiting to be picked by someone who will use them far better than they did. Even writing these words makes me cringe. 

The essence which I wish to convey is : People whose dreams, they wished for, turn into reality are indeed the lucky ones in the lot, those who wish and keep seeking, would rather be in the shoes of the lucky ones than anywhere else. Cherish what you so dearly asked for, love it the way you promised to God, when you wept those heavy salty tears. Hold your dream close to you, nurture it, with all the promises you made to God. This life is one, go beyond your fears and roar like a lion protecting his cubs ( dreams). 

Love

Aakriti

7 June 2017

When "being" speaks to you ...

“Sometimes the choices we make do not speak of the rebellion we’ve been fighting with others at the surface level; they speak of having the knowledge we’ve always had, just that the enlightenment seems too blinding”

When one is used to “doing” all their life, “being” doesn’t comes so naturally. It calls for unlearning all the language you spent hours mastering and then expecting to forget it and start afresh. Additionally “being”, like always, never expects, it simply accepts and that is what it calls forth from within-you. That, my friend, is the most difficult part. It’s that part of you which whispers to you in your busiest of times and you very easily chide it off, like a fly which just interfered at the sight of your gorgeous meal. Yet, even as you choose to make it invisible, it stands there, waiting, not like a fly, but like a saint, for that’s what it knows. “Being” knows that it’s difficult for you to unlearn, to undo all that which the society expects you to do and follow. It accepts that unlearning shall take time, maybe even if it’s this lifetime. It accepts that there shall be innumerable falls than wins. It also knows that it takes true courage and determination to take a little look towards it because carving one’s own path requires passion, patience and valour. It knows you have all that in you, for if it was not the case, you wouldn’t have even talked about “being” that many times today. “Being” knows how you melt your self with the music of Piano Guys as you write this post; it knows how you saw the milk twirling with tea leaves into that pot of tea you made for yourself; it knows how amazed you were with the omelette you cooked for yourself which looked like one gorgeous delight, ready to dig your teeth into. It knows all this and more. It knows it’s not a fly to you, it’s a part of your conscious which as a matter of fact you often hide for reasons you are certainly not responsible. It often wonders why you embrace it and then leave it now and then. It ponders in your presence and also your absence. It’s there. Always. It knows how overwhelming it is for you. It’s alright. Sometimes we learn dysfunctional ways of adapting or governing in the environments that only bring pain; what’s more disconcerting is the knowledge of our whereabouts. It seems we cannot do anything about them, the truth is we can. All that we do need to do is to ‘try’ our ways out of those lessons which are now our habits. As they say, knowing is the first step. Maybe, just maybe, it’s okay to “let go” and simply “Be” because heavens have never fallen and neither will they unless we allow them to!

Happy Weekend Vanilla People!:)
Aakriti

Sometimes to self- discover you might self –destruct

When there is a catastrophe creating havoc inside, there are two choices. One to let it pillage and take away everything you built; the other to let it pass and wait for the sun to shine. Faith is as mysterious as life. It tests you just when the clouds are the darkest of the greys and the nights the darkest of the black.

The waterfalls have been full all this summer. It’s surprising they never get tired of flowing. The earth, the skin, beneath it feels the fall’s anguish. To the poet, the water-falls are a heavenly beauty and to the one falling it’s a dreadful trench, from which there is no escape. It’s like one of those dreams where you keep falling with no ground to catch you. But guess what saves you? Reality! “Thank God it was just a dream!”

Memories have a way of being created and making their presence felt. Have you ever wondered what would have happened had you never been to that place with that special someone? Your brain could have saved itself for something else? The catch is that even if it would have saved, it would not have been that special!

As for the matters of heart, the poet says it’s never had a mind of its own, thus the confusion the man lives with. To rely on the mind of a body is very different than to rely on the mind of a heart. How different do you think a heart and its mind would have been? Perhaps it would have been double trouble for the one living with the four! Isn’t it?

The words in the diaries have lost their vigour, like earth’s crack opening up to proclaim a draught. And far away in another land people die of floods. How can earth be so empty and full at the same time? It’s a way of betraying and destructing itself at the same time! And then after months or years, sometimes, the grains of the soil revive only to yield acres of crops to feed those who deserve. Indeed, earth is where we all come from!

Growing up means forgetting tagging along and being on your own

As I look back now, growing up in the toddler years meant forgetting a thing called separation anxiety and being brave to go out with your head held high to the school where our rest of the years would be spent. I still remember crying like a small baby when my younger brother went to ‘the big school’. He didn’t cry but I did.

Growing up in school meant socialising, making friends and telling them that my mommy and daddy are nah! Not best but the best! It meant walking in a line for assembly, getting enamoured with eyes and voices and inanimate objects and thinking together how fascinating the adult worlds were. It meant punishments and rewards and a world where lots of ‘no’s’ and ‘yes’s’ existed. It was almost like Yes and No had become invisible people who were extremely important.

Then came the teen years, where growing up was of a different kind. One wondered how some boys were smaller than girls in class eight and suddenly got stretched in class nine?!! One saw bodies changing, pimples on faces that were clean and clear a year back. One heard ‘hush hush’ whispers. Rumours would be spread of someone having said ‘I love you’ to a girl and what not. Suddenly cute looking boys became more interesting, how come that never happened before? Yet the Chicken Soup for the Teen Soul series seemed more apt for the West than ‘our culture’. Growing up then also meant coming back home with the house key and giving food to your younger bro.

Then came the High School where ‘We were the Senior most’. The world, even as it revolved around studies, had a lot happening. Boys and girls would be called to the Princy’s office for God knows what. Every boy and girl that roamed around together would be tagged to be in a relationship. This heart kept the crushes for fear of rumours. The mind worked well for who was interested in some lame relationships? Yet this heart accepted and soothed pained tears of friend’s broken relationships. For years long this heart never understood the complexity of the phase called ‘being in love’; was it that complex? May be, just like 11^th Grade Trigo was!

Bachelors was another stepping stone. There I was imagining pursuing my subject in a co-ed college, sigh, they were none. It’s indeed surprise how life moves/runs/stops. When it does, it takes a while to get in sync with the pace, for you know you were walking as she was sailing. Studying in a hot girl’s college meant posh chauffeur driven cars and girls entering college with clutches and hot pants. The mind wondered if the girls were here for clubbing?! The level of studies increased. Looking back, the basic skills for life were gained then. This was also the time of leaving behind school buddies and looking forward to make new pals. Groups got formed, that of nerds, chilled out people, elite people and well rest I don’t remember.

The Masters called for an entrance exam. This mind only wonders the courage it took to leave a clichéd good university to get into a newly born university. Wow!!pat on the back! That was one Masters Program! The mind’s level increased. It studied Philosophy and got enamoured this time by the way those Great men thought. Growing up meant looking into your unconscious and realising the vast depth that lay in the mind and not only in the Sea. These years saw best buds getting into relationships and heart feeling immensely glad for them. It also meant waiting for dreams to get fulfilled of lovely blossomed roses and career that was yet in waiting.

Masters finished and the lil tiny foots then which had grown with years finally took some steps out in the world. Times went chasing, howling, cribbing, with moments of monotony of life that only felt dull and lifeless than anything. The life had come to a halt. The depressive halt moved gradually. When life stops, the air stops. The earth moves yet we are at halt. Not a single thing seems exciting for why would it, as others move your clock doesn’t tick tock!

And as the wind of the years long gone

Blows by my face today

I wonder, Oh Lord

How delightful has been life’s ways

Here am I, spending time with Life

She is beautiful to the core

Her magnanimous and magical rays

Now life is not about people

For the special  loved ones are intact

It’s about leading oneself ahead

Loving the self I have

Growing up evolves

Tears and laughs change

For reasons then seem petty now

Yet not so petty to forget……