In your words I find so(u)lace

Trying we both are, in our own separate ways.

The moments sometimes freeze, but mostly it sways.

We both are a little afraid of what we would see.

And, we both keep our love, locked in different bays.* 

Hello you there,

How has the writing been doing? Any thoughts on penning down what you already have in your mind? I thought a little coaxing will help you write, sigh, what was I thinking? You continue to be a lazy snail and I race along the waves, attempting to occasionally sit by the shore and listen to the music of the waves. I’ll take back the word ‘lazy’ because I know the thoughts are going in your pensieve. I wait for the day they get woven into your yarn of words.

So lost in the world of words

My green tea sat there waiting

And a sip of bitter tea

Brought the memories

Of how someone saved me from choking

There are times when I’m quiet and silent and I can feel you, your silent presence is enough for my soul to find its link to its soul-ace. As I write, I wonder, why do we need words to define all our experiences? Will the experience not cease to exist and be the moment we start to define it? It shall morph into a memory. Won’t it? Then what shall be of the experience? It’s like killing it with words just when it takes birth. A rather tragic analogy, never thought I will be thinking of words in such terms! Tell me, if I do not speak, how thou shall understand the feelings deeply felt, the rise and the fall of the thought-provoking waves amidst the gleaming light bestowed upon by the might moon?

The names imprinted in the sand

By my feet, not my hand

Waiting to slip by, with the waves

When it’s in the heart, why need the land?

Your old posts are a treasure of gold for me. Every time they read again, a new feeling rises. At times it’s helps me reminisce the feeling I felt when I first read it. Your words aren’t banal, they are melodies written on piece of instrument which plays ‘the moment’s music’, uplifting spirits and words, themselves, to skies that don’t exist. That’s how I feel when I read Pablo Neruda, Kahlil Gibran and Rumi.

You would be surprised to know that even as I keep coaxing you to write, my own habit finds a rare place in this schedule of mine. Yet, here I’m, writing unlike you, literally in every word!

Thank them who taught us

To read and to write

Thank stars who showed us

The one path, amidst many blinds

For if it were not for words

What else would it be?

The locked door at this end

Finally did find its key!

*these lines have been written by my fellow blogger friend Kunal, the link of his post has been shared there and here. The post has been inspired by his beautifully written words:)

You: My Shadow

Life changes.Period. Change is the only constant.

“Will you still love me when I’m no longer young and beautiful?”

“I know you will”

11 months have gone by. The experience has been daunting, yet in retrospect with every day she has grown stronger. The other day she told me that there are certain songs she listens that stir not her mind, but soul to pen down words. “I see you” is what I said in my heart to her. She has underestimated her potential now and then. I’ve listened and felt her through her tears and sobs. As I write these words, I wonder why magic only exists in books. Miracles happen! That’s precisely why I know her the way I do, the way she allows me to be with her even in my absence.

 And on days when I see her smile through the telephonic conversations, I feel her mellifluous voice touch the strings of this heart. Days like these are at times a rarity; on other occasions they are like the monsoon breeze, showering on me the sweetness of the wet mud. I’m looking for a word to describe her. Sigh, it’s a task! She is life! Yes! Let’s put it that way.

Today as she gets up after every fall, my belief in her gets cemented more than before.

I’ve seen the world

Done it now

Had my cake now

As she jumps happily walking besides me on the drenched road, her smile mesmerizes me, just as it always does. The frailty she gives importance to, in her tough times, seems to have evaporated in this moment, perhaps only to seep through later. For now, her happiness radiates through the moon and lights up the stars.

Today and every night, even in distance, shall be ours.

Be as you Please:)

Silence

Apology from

Me to thee, for I know not

What silence means to you

P.S: The above lines are supposed to be a haiku, just that one syllable was added. 

Aakriti

What it takes to keep writing even as no one ever comes by

A choke in my throat

Perhaps a little tear stuck by

For the words would often be read

Sometimes by friends, more so by passers by

Time went by hopping to blogs

Words here and there, but never a lie

Some friendships were formed

Few for a while

Others faded, like a cloud passing by

And there were phases

Of posts after posts

And then a silence, a blankness for a while

And there was this one avid reader

The one I love

My posts would be viewed

Sweetly, from those miles

And I would often share this feeling

A vacuum of sorts

And he would simply say

“You write from heart, as others for the piles”

Yet this heart would wonder

Feel that ache and pinch

Words, my first love knew

Would offer sweet smiles and winks

And as this yarn keeps spinning

The yard stays vacant all day

And a few beautiful souls drop by

And appreciate the existence of this place

The dreams then flutter its wings

For well, some true ones say ‘worry why?’

Some hearts still get touched and feel

And relate to the words written by………….

Aakriti

I never thanked you for being there.

“ I never thanked you for being there. Talking to you makes me feel alive, coz the loneliness just vanishes. That’s why I msg you every day every time.”

When words like this get delivered in our inbox, it’s not just a message, its like someone gifted a part of their heart out to you. Her words made my day today.

This is a story of a cute, snow white ( yes white), introvert and an intelligent girl. On the first day of their Bachelors as the first year girls started undergoing the drill of “ragging: by their seniors, the girls were asked to stand height wise and march to the “Psychology Lab” of the college. The line bustled with voices like “Are you taller than me” , “ Oh! I’m shorter than you” and soft giggles which mostly accompanied kindergartens.

While the ragging involved kissing each other’s bums with a loud sound of “mwaaaah” and turning up to college the next day in oily plaits and mismatched shoes, something interesting was about to happen few minutes down the line.

The batch of first years got divided into groups and was expected to go around the college with the seniors. As they got out of library, one of the cheerful girls turned to the snow white girl at the back and said “ Hi, I’m Cheer, what’s your name?”, Snow white politely answered “ I’m strawberry”.

Who knew that in that little exchange of names and contact numbers was in stored a path breaking journey of friendship, love, and a gazillion discussions ranging from food, cute boys, love, to Freud, Winnicott, Before Sunset and Before Sunrise.

When you see some pals day in and day out and wish to be in their company, people and this heart of ours begins to ask some questions, or rather feel some feelings! While it became clear by the final year of Bachelors that Cheer and Strawberry very much enjoyed and grew in each other’s company, much to Cheer’s surprise the other girls in their group began addressing them as “best friends”. It seemed sarcastic at first but well it was ignored!

As Cheer got involved in her research project in the final year  as Strawberry and other classmates did practicals, Cheer made it a point to share her research study progress with Strawberry. Years later, she wondered if Strawberry ever realised why would Cheer do this?

You see, when you find pals lying within the same intellectual plane as yours, then it’s not just friendship that bonds two people, it’s the sparks that emit and the enlightenment you seek as you respect and understand the other’s point of view.

Time passed by and in Bachelors, Strawberry got a cute ‘Hello Kitty’ key chain attached to her bag. That was the day the keychain was named “Yen” by Cheer. To this day the name remains, however we have no clue about the “hello kitty” key chain!

As it was time for Bachelors to come to an end and get the year book signed from pals, a number of huge shifts of plate had already occurred in the ground. The used to be pals seemed more like “used to be” than “pals” and Cheer realised that perhaps only Strawberry and another pal called Suzi would make it to the next level of friendship; and so it was……

To Cheer’s surprise Strawberry wrote pages and pages and pages filled with love in Cheer’s year book. Those pages till date are re visited and smiled upon as the words are a reminiscence of moments spent together sitting in the Spring coloured lawns of the College or simply exchanging messages in each other’s notebooks as AG went on seeking everyone’s attention in her ‘Social Psychology Class’.

Then came the time when it was for life to decide where the two would go and that my friends decided the course of her story………..

To be contd……

To Cheers and Strawberry...for their love of baking......<3: br="">

(F)ew (R)elationships (I)n life (N)ever END

You know it’s time to write when you miss sitting on your table with your laptop in front of you. Few days back I shared with a fellow blogger friend how bizzarely my page views per day would cross more than 100 or 200 yet no one would bother to leave a comment. Indeed chocolates are to chocoholics what comments are to us bloggers. So as much as I wish to say that this post is solely for my special friends (people who have made a special difference in my lives so far) its also to share what friendship means to me....

I learnt a few years back the full form of F.R.I.E.N.D.: Few relationships in life never end.

This Friendship’s Day was a special one very special one! In the last one year I met some wonderful souls, bright, cheerful, caring, kind, giving. As much as their acumen impressed me it was their sweet hearts which drew me closer to call them that ‘special’ friend. While one hot chick. Vrinda, much younger to me always brings my teen years back, there is this bestie from school ( who goes by the name Srishti)  who knows how to truly give. All these years I learnt how she was there to stand by her friends when they desperately needed her even as she was in pain which she would never get reflected in any way.  

I have often wondered how these wonderful people have the capacities to be by themselves in their depressing and heart aching moments. I as a friend have always wished to be there for them, sigh…I feel I hardly get opportunities for doing so. Nevertheless I told my friend once “ it’s okay if you don’t feel like sharing with me but if you do find someone else who did made you feel better, I’ll be simply content by the fact that your smile came back.”

I know not how to thank for the bundles of love I received this friendship day. These wonderful people now constitute my world. I thanked God last night for all these beautiful souls that he gifted me in the past one year and those which have always been there when I needed them.

I wish I could thank each one of you personally for coming to my lives and making it shine with your presence.

Gunjan ( for the great strength you are all by yourself, steady as a rock and great as ever)

 Shriya ( for the chirpy nerdy birdy and sweetness you are!)

 Sri Sri Srishti (for being rooted as ever and the kindest soul I’ve ever met and for all the never ending support)

 Vrin Vrin daa (You are a true Powerpuff girl. A hot sexy blend of strength, love, sunshine smile and yet again kindness!;)

Kunal ( Ah! Meeting you and getting to know you have been such bliss. Thank you is over the top now:P ;) So I’ll say ‘You are one guy I highly respect for everything you are’J.

Mad Mad Super Mad Mado ( Mudasir)  :P… This lazy ass dude is so chilled out in life, annoyingly chilled out but he has his delightful and hero-ishtic ( tashan type) ways. Good looking till the last ‘g’, he has this sweet heart which only ends up in you loving him regardless of the silly things he does! Amateur photographer doing great work!:) Oye Mado…you know how mad you are, right;)?

Chayanika di ( for all the love I got from you, it felt great to be treated by a kid by someone),

 Ila ( Loved the Bangalore trip, the night talks on that breezy terrace, the morning breakfast and the clicks that we had;)

Chhavi ( for being in touch with me and for admiring me. Chhavu, you are one friend who I know I can always get in sync with no matter where my life ends up being. Life’s events just bring us closer, don’t they;)

Paully (Paulina, my best Postcrosser friend from Finland): She knows how to care for her lovely postcrosser friends. She is that one friend who has always surprised me sitting miles away, brought a smile on my face. Hearty thanks to you Paully. I thank you for being my friend. One day we shall meet!

Liz ( Elizabeth, sweet Postcrosser friend from Australia): Liz was my first pen pal and we do have lots to share, write and mail to each other in our hand written letters. Thank you Liz for the concert ticket you sent me for the show at Sydney Opera House. I was deeply touched and loved the instrumental showJ Thank you for the Koala bear, for the picture you clicked. You are indeed a delightful girl! Apologies for not being able to rply to your letter darling but I know you understand.

Claud ( Claudia, a stunningly pretty postcrosser friend from Barcelona, Spain): We exchanged a swap, I sent her a request on FB and voila all I know is that I love her, even though we just shared a few conversations.:) 

There are many more I wish to thank. Thank you every single person who brought a smile and touched my heart in some or the other wayJ

I know my ways to thank, so if I have not thanked you personally today ( lack of time too) trust me I'll thank you for sure one fine day:) God bless you for being so kind and loving!:)

Here me say

I'll rise up till the end

Here me say

I'll stand up for my friend!

 (Song: Colorblind, Overtone)

Love to AllJ

Aakriti

P.S: May we all stay friends forever!:)

Pictures I've been wanting to share:)

halooo I 've been wanting to share soem of the pictures....I wish I had time to create something new, other than poems or haiku:P but for the time being...it's this:

This is a card I posted to a friend of mine who likes Ballerinas:)
Small surprises are best to make a close friend happy:)

This is a Chocolate Walnut Cake I baked for the first time
for a friend, that too on her birthday!!:) She was delighted
I was delighted by hearing that her bro loved it, for he never
really relished walnuts in his life...:P

That's All Folks;)

Aakriti

Friendly Conflicts

Copyright of this picture: Mudasir

It’s been a while since I have been thinking of the number of friends I have around me…Some things have been disturbing, some disappointing and others well they have been considered in plain truth as ‘matter of fact’.

In another few months as I’ll be finishing with my Masters, I’ll have to say even as I know of it now that I didn’t really made any new, so to say wonderful pals in here. My initial months here were a struggle- why oh! why I wanted people to hang out with? Why couldn’t I be happy in my own skin ( and well that is still something I strive to achieve)……perhaps that is why they say being silent is not an easy job, and being silent and choosing silence even when the environment around you is full of hustle bustle is a big thing!

I chose my silences, as I would find my corners in the university campus, sit there when in conflict with my inner emotions or with people around me or simply because of the fact when I had no ‘real’ people around me. They were there, but not really here!

So in that aspect I found myself distancing from a very close friend of mine, both of us who decided to leave the so called prestigious University of Delhi to come here to a new university.

I think ( though I’m not too sure of) that as we grow we just make and meet colleagues, people who share our work space, real friends and true ones are always from the school years.

However, it’s not that I see people not making friends as they enter college or even Masters. Where flowers have to blossom they will, no matter how tiny the space is, so where friends have to be made, you will make, the only factor then shall remain if those friends shall remain long and loyal enough?

I guess this post also comes from the sadness that dwells coz of the fact that being in the same city I haven’t got to meet one of my bestie for some good time. The last I saw her was on her birthday in April, and the other one, well…..sigh…whose birthday I cancelled to go to:/……

I miss them, I truly do, and I don’t know how many friends are in my view. Actually I do. And I’m still to think if I’m a social birdy, an ambivert birdy or one who likes her own silence. The last bit is true from time to time in addition to the space I always cherish to have.

Yes growing up isn’t easy….and yes I don’t wish to answer or find questions to everything…..let time answer them for me. And I hope time shall choose the best time to unravel its answers to me.


I'll end on these lyrics from the song Kya khayal hai from the television series The Dewarists.:

Ik jahan  chota sa apna

Ik jahan tumhara

Muskaan chahe meethi ho

Ya ansoon ik khara

Chalo baant le ghum aur khushi

Thodi guftagoo kar lein

Kaho kya khayal hai…?