The P(‘s)eas of life
It’s been a while I wrote. Many things happened. Life has been on a roller coaster and now I’m riding slowly, leisurely and pleasure-ly.
As I ate the pulav my mom had cooked, the sweet peas tasted pretty sweet to make me write this post. I thought of the many sweet peas in our life. Peas we just eat, peas we simply gulp along the many grains of life and peas we don’t even notice leave alone taste.
“Happiness tastes the sweetest when the work done is full-filling”.
As much as the above self written quote above talks about the pleasure of work, it also talks of my dissertation which I successfully managed to write and gain praise in my viva. This quote is also inclusive of the party I threw yesterday for my college friends. This was my first ever party as a hostess. I baked marble walnut cake day before. Prepared baked pasta with cheese, rava idlis, served nachos with home made salsa and served vanilla ice cream with cake and an option of mango cubes in company.
It was my sheer pleasure and excitement to invite my friends which led me to feel my body ache all worth the effort.
My Masters is over now. It’s hard to believe for it has been an emotional pilgrimage as much as an academic journey.
“ Psychoanalysis is not just about analysing the psyche,
It’s like walking a path that takes you to nirvana”.
I wish to reach nirvana few years down the line.
Amidst my hectic schedule I also managed to give guest lectures on basic psychology to few students in a health school. I must say it was a humbling experience. I came closer to that emotion and the feeling you experience when you are on the other side of the table.
Break downs happened, not one, not two, but many. I recall especially one day when I just cried and cried, I howled as I cried looking at the blank MS word doc. I was in a desperate need of a hug. I would cry, then stop and then cry again. You know why? Coz my mind was blank, it had no words to write. I felt I was experiencing a ‘writer’s block’. To experience that when you have a dissertation to submit two weeks on from that day is dreadful. I called all my besties, no one picked up, then I called this wonderful friend of mine, she helped a great deal that moment.
My gratitude to my ideal, mentor, guide, supervisor without whom, I openly proclaim that my dissertation would have been in ruins. He has seen me grow and I have seen him lay the foundation and pillars to my intricate work I presented in my viva.
My family for always being there. Someone rightly said that no matter what happens, a family shall always remain a family! Well, that’s why it’s called nothing but a fam-il-y!
My lovely friends. There is one special person who needs a mention, who has been a stupendous source of strength and motivation. Danke schon!
Last but not the least, my inner voice which did its best to overpower and conquer my ‘self- deprecating voice’.
As I look back these pleasures (peas) taste sweet. One pea helps me recall that I broke my own record of late night study!! Victory!!!
And yes, another P stands for post-crossing which shall always be dear to me!