I know my God!
|the picture has been taken from here|
In my growing years, every night before sleeping my dad used to tell me to pray and sleep. We would together say ‘Om Namah Shivaya’. As toddlers we would pray before eating our lunches, thanking God for giving us food to eat.
I remember going to the temple with my dadima and kneeling before every deity like a devout seeker. At that time perhaps performing the acts of kneeling, pulling the kurta of my dad or tugging him to raise me high up to ring the bell was more of having fun than knowing the essence of what it all meant.
And today, when I go to a temple or a Gurudwara, a different sense of God and what he means to me embraces me in its invisible cloak. I kinda feel sad that the temple near my place doesn’t invite me as does the one near my nani’s place. It’s because, apparently, the pundits here are more of cheaters, than ones who would enjoy worshipping God.
I don’t really believe that reading religious scriptures or singing bhajans or for that matter going to temple everyday can bring one closer to God.
I just finished reading an article in The Speaking Tree’ which said that every individual has their own way of reaching God, thus there is no one right path, so to speak of.
But at the same time I do not deny the power which bhajans, religious scriptures have, coz there have been times when they have given me the kind of refuge and peace I was looking for, and perhaps that is what is ‘magical’.
Yes, I have come to know God, in my very ‘own’ ways and knowing that it is a construction that we humans have created for our own selves so as to protect ourselves from the constant fears that preoccupy us amongst other reasons, I would still say that I believe in Him.
I’m also glad that he has been there every time. And my bond with him is mightier than these words….
I call him in my teary eyed days,
I thank him in my subtle ways,
I ask him to bless my friends and those who were,
And I share with him, in my language sans words.
I get no answers, nor any hugs,
But a sleep that follows, is magical enough,
For it eases my pain, and drains my fears,
For the next morning, with bright sun and clouds so clear.